IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Otherhowever, think that there are necessary for individuals and the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.s,

#people #parties #birthday #celebrations #waste #money #otherhowever #individuals #society
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Watse
Correct your spelling
Waste
 of money is thought by certain
people
Use synonyms
 for spending to making wedding or birthday parties and other
celebrations
Use synonyms
 while others
agur
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argue
 that there are necessary for
citizen
Add an article
the citizen
a citizen
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 who are
socialist
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socialists
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 or the society for making relationship
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 other
people
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. On one hand, some
celebrations
Use synonyms
 are looked
that
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 waste of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time or money due to
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 who spend too over necessary for
Use synonyms
party
Add an article
the party
show examples
, some
people
Use synonyms
 may loan for making
Use synonyms
party
Correct article usage
a party
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, more and more teenagers lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
responsibility to think
what
Change preposition
about what
show examples
 is wrong or correct. A good illustration of
this
Linking Words
 is New Year's celebration in Thailand have some
people
Use synonyms
 shooting
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
sky
Add an article
the sky
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by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
think
Replace the word
thinking
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 that the bullet will drop on the head of someone.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, other individuals opine
party
Use synonyms
 is what
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 connection or relationship with others.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, the presence of
word
Fix the agreement mistake
words
show examples
 claimed that
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 are
socialist
Fix the agreement mistake
socialists
show examples
 so certain citizens will find any reason for celebration in order to cater to their happiness.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
celebrations
Use synonyms
 will help to relax
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
numerous populations who have more pressures. To conclude,
celebrations
Use synonyms
 will not be
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time and money if
Use synonyms
party
Correct article usage
the party
show examples
 owner
apporpiately
Correct your spelling
appropriately
pay
Change the verb form
pays
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
Use synonyms
party
Correct article usage
the party
show examples
.
Submitted by amittawin on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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