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Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, people always throw old things away and buy new things, whereas in the past, old things were repaired and used again. What factors cause this phenomenon? What effects does the phenomenon lead to?

#people #factors #phenomenon #effects
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These days, many
people
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 tend to be less concerned about recycling or reforming the
items
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 to reuse, since buying new
ones
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 is easier than repairing them. From my perspective,
this
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 occurrence is caused by the shortened progress of manufacturing and purchasing, so
items
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 could be easily replaced by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
items
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.
This
Linking Words
 problem cannot be ignored because it has huge impacts on increasing
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
show examples
 and decreasing the
quality
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 of
products
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. The trend that
people
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 prefer to consume new
items
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 rather than reuse old
ones
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 may be a result of easier ways to produce and buy
things
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.
Firstly
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,
people
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 can manufacture various kinds and a number of
products
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 at a fast pace. In the past, many
items
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 were reused and recycled, because the value of the
products
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were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 higher, and
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
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 could afford new
products
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 than
thesedays
Correct your spelling
these days
. Thanks to technology,
however
Linking Words
, factories can manufacture
items
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 regardless of number and time, and it may make
people
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 feel less valuable with
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products
Correct article usage
the products
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 they have.
Secondly
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, the shortened process of purchasing allows
people
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 to buy replacements. It used to be not easy to find appropriate
items
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 in stores in person.
Therefore
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,
people
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 must repair the
items
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, but nowadays, they would easily find new
things
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 the same as the old
ones
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 through the internet. For these reasons,
people
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 would place less value on
products
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 compared to the past. Following
this
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 phenomenon, I personally believe that it has an influence on the
environment
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 and
quality
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 of the product. As more
people
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 replace old
things
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 with new
ones
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more waste would be made. The
environment
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 is already concerned because of the amount of waste that could not be handled. When
people
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 keep buying, not recycling, it may affect the
environment
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 in the long term. Not only the
environment
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,
Add the word(s)
but,
show examples
people
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also
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 get
low
Add a hyphen
low-quality
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quality
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products
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. It might be thought that consumers buy new
things
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 easily to replace broken
items
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. The sellers may think that they do not need to make more sophisticated and solid
products
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, because
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
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 are concerned about the durability of the
products
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.
Also
Linking Words
, sellers would believe that it can be a good way to sell more
products
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 by making weak
products
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. In
this
Linking Words
 context,
people
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 should choose to repair and recycle
items
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 rather than
buying
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
 new
ones
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. In conclusion, I personally claim that more
people
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 regard buying as a more efficient way rather than
reuse
Wrong verb form
reusing
show examples
 or
recycle
Wrong verb form
recycling
show examples
 compared
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the past. It may be because the manufacturing and purchasing processes become faster, but these issues should be worried. It might contribute to the result
such
Linking Words
 as environmental problems caused by waste and
quality
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 problems of
products
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by erimkim on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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