In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents’ home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a house with friends. Is this a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #parents’ #home #school #house #friends #development

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Nowadays, a large number of youngsters make the decision to leave their parents' homes after finishing high school. They decide to live in accommodation by themselves or to share it with other

people

. In my opinion,

this

is an extremely positive trend because they can start to be independent and more responsible. In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will explain my point of view and I will

also

provide some examples.

To begin

with, leaving their childhood house is a huge step for young individuals. Until that moment, they used to live with their parents, without any concern about the house, food and cleanliness of their spaces. When a young person decides to do

this

change in his life, he has to change his mindset, by understanding that now he is the owner of the house and he has to be responsible for it. His tasks will be cooking food, cleaning and make the laundry,

for example

This

situation will make him develop a strong responsibility

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because now he has to take care of himself, without the help of his parents.

In addition

, a decision like

this

lead to a monthly rent to pay for the accommodation,

This

means that young

people

have to work in order to pay

Change preposition

for it

show examples

. When the individual starts to pay the rent with his own money, inevitably he makes a switch in his mind. He will be more mature, and at the same

time

Add a comma

,time

show examples

he will be more economically independent thanks to his salary.

For instance

, when I decided to leave Italy to come to Australia, more precisely to Melbourne, I had to start to work hard to pay the rent of my apartment, and

this

made me more independent and very responsible. To conclude, in my opinion, start living on their own after high school can benefit the development of young

people

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because they can develop strong maturity, and personal growth by becoming more responsible and financially independent.

Furthermore

, I think that more

people

should make

this

decision as soon as possible in order to create their future.

Submitted by tommasobelgrano02 on Sat Nov 12 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

343 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

self-reliance
financial responsibility
social isolation
housing demand
personal growth
financial strain
problem-solving
decision-making skills
disrupt
support networks

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In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents’ home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a house with friends. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Everyone should consider becoming a vegetarian as consuming meat can cause serious health problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that school children should be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

In some schools and universities, girl tend to choose art subjects(e.g literature) and boys tend to choose science subjects(e.g physics).Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed? Do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?