It has become easier and more affordable for people to travel to other coutries. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? Give your opinion and relevant examples from your experience
With the innovation of
techonology
, visiting Correct your spelling
technology
coutries
around the Correct your spelling
countries
world
required
less effort and money. Personally, I believe it positively contributed to the development of individuals and their society.
Starting with Wrong verb form
requires
personal
aspect, the increase in Correct article usage
the personal
Correct article usage
the assessibility
assessibility
of other Correct your spelling
accessibility
assessability
coutries
Correct your spelling
countries
rise
Verb problem
raises
people
's horizons and activitly
Correct your spelling
activity
actively
developed
their knowledge. Dewey mentioned the importance Wrong verb form
develops
for
'Learn by doing' in education. I believe it is Change preposition
of
also
applicable in
all human Change preposition
to
being
. Through having an increasing chance to travel around, Fix the agreement mistake
beings
people
can visit, eat, and communicate with people
in different places. It allows the population to understand and experience of
the living and culture of other Change preposition
apply
people
through playing, visiting, tasting or even interacting. It provides a clearer picture of individuals and might inspire their thought with a more comprehensive understanding, comparing
with the Wrong verb form
compared
replience
of books and Correct your spelling
resilience
reliance
video
in the past.
Moving to Fix the agreement mistake
videos
the
society, it is critical to work with different countries so as to Correct article usage
apply
reaching
a higher level of development. With the Change the form of the verb
reach
convinence
of transportation, Correct your spelling
convenience
business
can spend less cost, including time and money, to Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
sent
Wrong verb form
send
employee
over the Fix the agreement mistake
employees
world
. The rise in linkage with more cities allows the bunsiness
Correct your spelling
business
setcors
to share the Correct your spelling
sectors
disocory
with other parties and Correct your spelling
discovery
minized
the cost of production. Correct your spelling
minimise
For
example
during COVID-19, we can see Add a comma
example,
people
around the world
shared
their experience and manpower in Wrong verb form
share
the
medical work, Correct article usage
apply
while
a lot of company
put their production Fix the agreement mistake
companies
line
in developing Fix the agreement mistake
lines
counties
to reduce Correct your spelling
countries
the
Correct article usage
apply
cost
and Fix the agreement mistake
costs
sent
Wrong verb form
send
manager
to monitor the production process Fix the agreement mistake
managers
by
time to time. It proves Change preposition
from
the
cheap and simple transportation Correct your spelling
that
also
support
the development of the Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
world
as a whole.
In summary, the rise in assessability to other places over the world
would always bring more benefit the harm to both individual
and the Correct article usage
the individual
coutry
. It is essential for Correct your spelling
country
people
to hold evey
chance to step out of their Correct your spelling
every
confort
zone and Correct your spelling
comfort
to
explore the Fix the infinitive
apply
world
.Submitted by asllchkied on
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Spelling and Typos
Make sure to proofread your essay for small typos and spelling mistakes (e.g., 'countries' instead of 'coutries', 'accessibility' instead of 'assessibility'). These small errors don't significantly detract from your overall message but correcting them can improve the readability of your essay.
Examples and Evidence
Clarify your ideas with more specific, detailed examples. While you've provided general scenarios, adding more personal or widely recognized examples could strengthen your arguments.
Paragraphing and Flow
Use paragraphing to logically separate your ideas. Your essay shows a good use of structure, but ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly into the next will enhance coherence further.
Language Use
Experiment with a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to add variety and depth to your essay. While your current level is quite good, diversifying your language use can make your argument more compelling.
Introduction
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion and you clearly state your opinion, aligning well with the essay prompt.
Structure
Good job in structuring the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This organization helps in presenting your arguments coherently.
Argumentation
You have demonstrated a strong ability to reason and provide analogies (e.g., connecting the importance of 'learn by doing' to travel experiences), which makes your arguments more persuasive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.