IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

Some parents but their children whatever they ask for , and allow their children to do whatever they want . Is this a good way to raise children ? What consequences could this type of parenting have for children as they grow older ?

#parents #children #consequences #type
The line graph illustrates the amount of carbon dioxide production per person in the UK, Sweden, Italy, and Portugal
between
Change preposition
over
show examples
 40 years. In general, the most CO2
emissions
 during
this
 period are caused by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
UK residents,
although
 people who lived in Portugal caused the least air
pollutant
Replace the word
pollution
show examples
 by a growing trend.
In contrast
 to UK inhabitants, people from Italy and Portugal are experiencing
Add an article
a remarkable
show examples
remarkable
Change the word
remarkably
show examples
 increasing trend towards producing Carbon Dioxide
emissions
 during
this
 period. In 1967, CO2
emissions
 in metric
tones
Correct your spelling
tons
show examples
 caused by Portuguese and Italian
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 about 1 to almost 4 per person, respectively.
However
,
this
 trend during 40 years rose about five times and doubled in order.
On the other hand
, from 1967 to 1977 the fumes produced by Sweden went up slightly while
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 decreased significantly to 7 metric
tones
Correct your spelling
tonnes
show examples
 in 2007. Britons
emissions
 fell gradually from 11 to 9 tonnes in the mentioned period.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: