Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option

#people #music #cultures #ages #option

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A group of

people

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considered that the best way to connect

people

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in different countries and ages is through

music

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. I totally agree with

this

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viewpoint

due to

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the benefits

song

Fix the agreement mistake

songs

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bring to the current life. First of all, singing has existed for thousands of years,

thus

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, it will be a useful tool to transmit culture between different generations. Difficulties in life, poverties, and wars were described carefully through tune;

moreover

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, the diversity of instruments, lyrics, and melody showed the creativity of humanization at that time. Each country has its dense history of songs;

therefore

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, listeners of different ages can feel the meaning of the songs.

For example

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, “Cung Dinh Hue” one kind of Royal

sound

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has been recognized by UNESCO as an intangible cultural heritage. If foreign

people

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listened to

this

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performance, they

can

Wrong verb form

could

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feel the traditional Vietnamese, and

then

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understand more about the culture and history.

On the other hand

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, some

people

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argued

Wrong verb form

argue

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that

music

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for youth is not suitable for the

elder

Replace the word

elderly

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;

furthermore

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, the lyrics of

this

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kind of

sound

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sometimes make no sense.

This

Linking Words

argument is true;

however

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, the reasons why adults dislike young song

are

Verb problem

show examples

not mean that it has no meaning. Each person will have their favourite type of melody, there will always exist lyrical

music

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, to connect with listeners of different ages.

For instance

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, Adele, a famous American singer, has received 2 Oscars for her excellent

sound

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. Her songs have a catchy vibe,

also

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, the lyrics are very meaningful, so both the younger and

elder

Correct your spelling

older

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public could be addicted to her compounds. In conclusion, there is no discussion about

sound

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being powerful

Rephrase

enough to

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transmit tradition and connect

people

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. As well, governments should invest and encourage creators to make

music

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with the cultural identity of their country.

Submitted by namkhanh.tran2310 on Sun Nov 13 2022

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Coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph contributes to the main argument and supports the overall topic. Use topic sentences to clearly introduce the main point of each paragraph and ensure that the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.

Task Response

Make sure to address all aspects of the prompt, including both agreeing and disagreeing viewpoints. Develop each main idea with relevant and specific examples to support your position.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option

Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

The government should impose a fee on drivers who use their vehicle during rush hour to help cut down on air pollution from exhaust fumes. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Too much attention is given to headline-grabbing disasters like earthquakes and floods. Governments should concentrate their resource on educating people about the risk they face nearer to their home, which can cost far more lives . To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

The only way to improve safety in our roads is to give stricter punishment for driving offenses. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

An overseas friend has invited you to visit his country. You are planning to visit him. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter  Thank him for the invitation and accept the invitation  Write details about your visit  Briefly describe what you want to do there.