More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that the price increase of fattening foods will solve this problem. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

It is
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true
sure
ture
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true
that the problem of obesity is increasing at an alarming rate and become a huge concern
of
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for
show examples
government
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the government
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and citizens. Some
people
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recommend
recommand
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recommend
that the
price
of junk
food
should be raised to tackle
this
problem, while in my opinion, it might be helpful to some
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extent
show examples
extant
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extent
show examples
, but there are other measures that are more effective to address
this
issue better. On the one hand, admittedly,
rising
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raising
show examples
the
price
of junk
food
can help to shape
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consumers' eating habits.
Firstly
, consumers would seek alternative options over sugary and fast foods due to
limited
Correct pronoun usage
their limited
show examples
budget. If the
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unhealthy
show examples
unhealth
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unhealthy
show examples
foods,
such
as cheese
burgars
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burgers
burglars
, pizzas and sodas cost too much,
people
would rather choose some cost-effective and low-calorie products to minimize
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
expense.
In addition
, increasing the
price
of
fat
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fatty
show examples
food
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
actually
make
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makes
show examples
the
food
producer
losing
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lose
show examples
some of the markets and
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
sales profits. In
this
way,
food
manufactures
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manufacturers
show examples
will
forced
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be forced
show examples
to develop more green
food
,
such
as sugar-free beverages and calories-free sandwiches.
On the other hand
, simply increasing the
price
of
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
show examples
unhealth
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unhealthy
show examples
food
cannot eliminate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
obesity
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because
besause
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because
the rationale
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
problem is
Correct article usage
the unhealth
show examples
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unhealthy
show examples
unhealth
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unhealthy
show examples
lifestyle of modern
people
.
Therefore
, more methods are required to mitigate
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
overweight issue. To start with,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should take the
Correct your spelling
responsibility
responsbility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
to take some actions to raise citizens' awareness of the serious
Correct your spelling
consequences
consequence
consequency
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consequences
of
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an unhealth
show examples
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
show examples
unhealth
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unhealthy
show examples
lifestyle
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lifestyles
show examples
.
For instance
,
regime
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the regime
show examples
could
invitie
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invite
some expertise to host some lessons to teach
people
how to keep good eating habits and keep in good shape.
Besides
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should invest money
on
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in
show examples
fitness facilities.
For example
, building more sports arenas that are open
freely
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free
show examples
to
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
and encourage
people
to do regular exercises. In conclusion, I believe raising the
price
of
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
show examples
unhealth
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unhealthy
show examples
food
is not the only way to help obese
people
, there
are
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is
show examples
other
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another
show examples
more effective
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
that
government
should put
efforts
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effort
show examples
on
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into
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.
Submitted by chenjiani0221 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • fattening foods
  • calorie-dense
  • healthier food choices
  • taxation
  • economic implications
  • social implications
  • subsidies
  • nutritional education
  • public health campaigns
  • nanny state
  • individual's right
  • consumer behavior
  • preventative measures
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