Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society.

#people #sites #facebook #impact #individuals #society

There is no denying that using of

social

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the social

show examples

network

Fix the agreement mistake

networks

show examples

especially,

Facebook

has increased by year

Change preposition

apply

show examples

. For

this

reason, many

people

claim that social

media

sites

cause several negative situations

for

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apply

show examples

not only

personal

Change the word

personally

show examples

but

also

community.

Although

such

sites

are mainly beneficial to the individual, I agree that they have had a damaging effect on local societies.

To begin

with, thanks to social

media

people

have many advantages.

For example

, countless

people

who live in different countries can have

chance

Correct article usage

a chance

show examples

to contact

the

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apply

show examples

others.

Moreover

, after

the

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apply

show examples

contacting, jobs can be found

effortless

Change the word

effortlessly

show examples

because of

extensive

Correct article usage

the extensive

show examples

network.

In addition

, several social groups can be created by

person

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a person

the person

show examples

in order to discuss and share

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

common interest.

Therefore

people

can find

Add an article

a solution

the solution

show examples

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

their problems, thanks to

Facebook

groups.

On the other hand

, the effect that

Facebook

and other social

media

networking

sites

have had on societies and local communities can only be seen as negative. Unexperienced

people

who do not know to use effectively

Facebook

can be taken to the cleaners by

Add an article

a swindler

show examples

swindler

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swindlers

show examples

This

situation damages not only individuals but

also

victim

Add an article

the victim

a victim

show examples

has

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

family, they can be affected.

Furthermore

, most

people

started to be addicted in order to find

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apply

show examples

new

friend

Fix the agreement mistake

friends

show examples

. Until they meet someone, they waste their hours. In conclusion, even though online social

media

sites

have brought individuals closer together, they have not had the same effect on society or local communities. In

this

way,

people

should not spend their

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

Facebook

as much as possible because of above the negative reasons.

Submitted by louiee1907 on Sun Nov 13 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

erosion
face-to-face
interactions
privacy concerns
data breaches
misinformation
polarize
cyberbullying
online harassment
procrastination
productivity
social isolation
dissemination
breeding ground
vast amounts
personal information
mental health

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Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Museums and art galleries should concentrate on local works rather than show the cultures or artworks of other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occurring? Do you think these changes are positive or negative? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some experts believe that is the better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people depend on their smartphones and other electronic devices for communication, work, and entertainment. To what extent do you think that this reliance on technology is affecting interpersonal relationships and face-to-face communication?

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?