Online education is becoming more and more popular. Some people claim that e-learning has so many benefits that it will replace face – to – face education. Others say that traditional education is irreplaceable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the modern era,
people
tend to seek more perfectly proper ways since they pursue effective learning.
Then
, through vast and various media beyond in-person
classes
appear to satisfy the needs and aspirations of
people
.
While
some
people
believe that in-person
classes
are essential because they only depend on traditional teacher-led
classes
, others utilize non-face-to-face
classes
because of a variety of advantages. In
this
essay, I will examine
this
question from both points of view and give my perspective that in-person
classes
are being replaced by the development of e-learning on the matter. First and foremost, alternative sources
such
as the Internet, television, and other media strive to survive the competition between each other, enhancing and improving diverse and vast data beyond confined face-to-face education.
Thus
,
students
can explore a wide array of subjects, ideas, and educational programs by using them. The flexibility through exploration fosters a sense of autonomy and self-directed learning which may not be grown in conventional
classes
.
Secondly
, digital platforms are continuously updated by discovering information every day. They provide the latest and freshest knowledge that a significant number of
people
search frequently. It is highly significant for
students
to apply more recent facts.
This
connection to new knowledge advances the validity of the information, making the learning experience more engaging and practical in
students
’ lives.
Additionally
, online education has a constructive effect on finance. When
students
learn from a teacher, the teacher does not concentrate on a vast number of
students
due to
the quality of learning.
As a result
, teachers manage a few
students
, receiving heavy tuition. Meanwhile, e-learning is relatively cheaply accessed because even one content can be supplied to a wide range of
students
. Despite
this
argument, several
students
still need in-person lessons. They want to obtain immediate answers, asking questions that cannot be solved themselves. Through the question-and-answer process, they can experience not only rapid learning but
also
a chance to encounter more questions.
However
, nowadays, through advances in technology, cutting-edge media that are feasible quick answers,
such
as AI, are produced. In the future,
students
are likely to apply them since they are more convenient
as well as
do not rely on time and place. In conclusion,
it is clear that
this
is a topic
that is
very relevant to modern society. The traditional reliance on teacher-led
classes
will be replaced by a chance to experience diverse avenues. Embracing an approach that incorporates technology, television, and the Internet provides a better educational environment to satisfy
students
’ needs and aspirations.
Submitted by kk884 on

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Introduction & Conclusion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion which reflects on the main argument. However, the introduction could be strengthened by providing a clearer thesis statement that outlines the specific points you plan to discuss.
Main Points
The main points of the essay are supported, but they can be further strengthened by providing more specific examples and evidence to back up the claims made. This will help in making the arguments clearer and more compelling.
Logical Structure
The essay demonstrates an overall logical structure. However, consider using more cohesive devices and transition words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs, making your points more coherent.
Complete Response
The essay offers a complete response to the task, presenting both views and the writer's opinion. To enhance the response, strive for a more balanced discussion of both perspectives, ensuring that each view is explored in equal depth.
Idea Development
While the essay addresses the topic with clear and comprehensive ideas, sometimes the points can be more elaborately explained. Introduce each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and develop each idea fully before moving to the next point.
Specific Examples
The essay is mostly relevant but lacks specific examples to illustrate the arguments. Incorporate real-life scenarios, statistics, or studies that can add weight and authenticity to the claims and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic. This will also contribute to a higher Task Achievement score.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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