IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

INTERSTING ASPECTS TO RECOGNIZE CAUSES OF CANCER AND APROACH TO AVOID TI

#aspects #cancer #aproach #ti
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Having a genuine approach
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 general aspects that
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 the population
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
recognize each possible
cause
Use synonyms
 of
cancer
Use synonyms
 could become everyone to be closer to
avoid
Wrong verb form
avoiding
show examples
 it. According to statistics
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the World Health Organization “
Cancer
Use synonyms
 is a leading
cause
Use synonyms
 of death worldwide, accounting for nearly 10 million deaths in 2020, or nearly
one
Use synonyms
 in six deaths” (World Health Organization, 2022).
One
Use synonyms
 of the
most clear
Change the adjective
clearest
show examples
focus
Fix the agreement mistake
focuses
show examples
 of attention is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lifestyle change, Owing to risk factors
such
Linking Words
 as bad life habits in consumption and
environmental
Replace the word
environment
show examples
, are mainly
recognize
Wrong verb form
recognised
show examples
 in any strategy for implementation and prevention. Is possible to avoid
cancer
Use synonyms
? In
this
Linking Words
 essay will be developed key points to approach the topic. Is significantly important to define every possible
Use synonyms
causes
Fix the agreement mistake
cause
show examples
 of
cancer
Use synonyms
, if the population want to
found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 a solution for reducing
this
Linking Words
 dramatic effect in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because
Add the preposition
ofbecause
show examples
 each aspect of
this
Linking Words
 disease
deserving
Wrong verb form
deserves
show examples
 attention. According to
Correct your spelling
scientific
scientifics
Correct your spelling
scientific
 reports,
one
Use synonyms
 of the major
causes
Use synonyms
 attributed to
acquire
Change the verb form
acquiring
show examples
cancer
Use synonyms
 is the genetic predisposition, but
this
Linking Words
 discussion is not confirmed because most
Use synonyms
cancer
Change to a plural noun
cancers
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not
clearlyassociated
Correct your spelling
clearly associated
 with genes and
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 inheritance from parents or relatives.
Firstly
Linking Words
, based on
cell´s
Change noun form
cell
show examples
 changes where
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
cancer
Use synonyms
begin
Change the verb form
begins
show examples
 is when
one
Use synonyms
 cell became abnormal, due to these variations is a valuable observation that the cell faces a mutation,
consequently
Linking Words
cancer
Use synonyms
 convert
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
initial
Correct article usage
an initial
show examples
 effect.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, additional
causes
Use synonyms
 are attributed to Family
Cancer
Use synonyms
 Syndromes. “When a gene change that greatly increases
cancer
Use synonyms
 risk runs in a family, it is often referred to as a family
cancer
Use synonyms
 syndrome” (American
Cancer
Use synonyms
 Society, 2022). On
this
Linking Words
 occasion, in explicit
terms
Add a comma
,terms
show examples
 the continuity of disease through several
family´s
Change noun form
family
show examples
 members is associated
as
Change preposition
with
show examples
 “Inherited
cancer
Use synonyms
 syndrome or genetic
cancer
Use synonyms
 syndrome” (American
Cancer
Use synonyms
 Society, 2022).
Finally
Linking Words
, referring to genetic issues is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
genetic testing for
cancer
Use synonyms
 risk. It is owing to specific types of
cancer
Use synonyms
 that come from a strong family history.
As a result
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
last
Linking Words
cause
Use synonyms
 of
cancer
Use synonyms
 is defined in some factors clearly defined,
for instance
Linking Words
, if in the family there is a long history of breast
cancer
Use synonyms
, is likely that the female member of the family can suffer
this
Linking Words
 type of
cancer
Use synonyms
 exclusively.
In contrast
Linking Words
 with the
second
Linking Words
cause
Use synonyms
, here is easier to find which
cancer
Use synonyms
 could
be develop
Change the verb form
be developed
show examples
 for a clear antecedent. In conclusion, if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people know their
genetics
Replace the word
genetic
show examples
 bases as
causes
Use synonyms
 of
cancer
Use synonyms
, they can be a little bit more prepared
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 and can take action in preventive ways.
In addition
Linking Words
, to understand another group of
causes
Use synonyms
 of
cancer
Use synonyms
, it is relevant to mention environmental as a serious
reasons
Correct the article-noun agreement
reason
show examples
 of illness that
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to
cancer
Use synonyms
 as an effect. There are a substantial number of variations in the environment throughout
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
, and these changes worsen its quality. The International Agency for Research on
Cancer
Use synonyms
 in 2007, Identified 415 known or suspected
carcinogens
Replace the word
carcinogenic
show examples
 agents (Clapp, 2008). According to experts, “early findings from the Agricultural Health Study suggest that several additional cancers may be linked to a variety of pesticides” replies Richard Clapp in his investigations (Clapp, 2008). Is
notable
Correct your spelling
not able
show examples
 to have a variety of alterations in
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
, and a clear example is how
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution
Add a missing verb
has increase
show examples
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 decades as a dramatic
cause
Use synonyms
 of
Correct your spelling
respiratory's
respiratoria’s
Change noun form
respiratoria
show examples
 diseases including
cancer
Use synonyms
. All
this
Linking Words
 points to the conclusion that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
man´s hand in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
industrialization and humanity´s desire to grow and expand get worse atmospheres
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 several levels.
Submitted by iqmiguelangel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: