Many people believe that the age of shopping malls is coming to an end, soon online shopping will completely replace retail stores. Explain the reasons for this and give your own opinion.

#people #age #malls #stores

these

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

recent years, individuals

tend

Wrong verb form

have tended

show examples

to be more advantaged with the appearance of the internet, and nowadays is the era of cyberspace. The way of shopping has changed from physical to virtue via online shopping. There are some considerations that shopping malls will become a past, and virtue shopping will utterly replace retail

stores

. In my opinion, online shopping won'

be able to fully substitute actual

stores

, and it will be discussed in my later essay.

Firstly

, virtue shops can'

provide physical examination during the shopping. It can only be judged by photos and descriptions that the seller provided.

For instance

, some people tend to determine the quality of fabric and the actual appearance when wearing clothes.

Furthermore

, it may be a scam on the internet, as the photos or description don'

do it justice which could be below the expectation. So, online shopping can'

completely replace retail

stores

as it can'

fulfil the requirements above.

On the other hand

, there are a few benefits of online shopping, the most beneficial fact is time-saving. Shopping in a mall, often

waste

Correct subject-verb agreement

wastes

show examples

amount of moments in order to achieve satisfaction.

For example

, an individual has to shop in more than one store

intend

Verb problem

apply

show examples

to get their most favourable item.

Besides

, online shopping gives a hand in analysing personal favour and proposing some recommendations that save a lot of time. In the end, online shopping prevents people from wasting more age as time is precious. In conclusion,

although

online shopping provides a faster route to complete the shopping list, retail shops

gave

Wrong verb form

give

show examples

more details way as the object can be physically contacted. I believe that retail

stores

will remain

as well as

online

stores

since both have different advantages.

Submitted by yeejing2009 on Sun Nov 13 2022

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task response

Ensure that the response fully addresses all parts of the task. Present relevant, coherent ideas in a cohesive manner, with a clear overall progression and appropriate use of linking devices.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, with ideas generally presented in a logical order. However, there is some inconsistency in the development of ideas and linkage between paragraphs, which affects the overall coherence and cohesion.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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in some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studied

Some people believe that increasing tax on various industries will reduce pollution whereas others believe that there are better alternative ways. Discuss both the view and give your opinion.

Playing computer games is a waste of time. Children should not be allowed to play them. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.