Government should close companies that produce toxic waste materials without their own waste treatments facility in order to protect the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, we encounter some news about environmental issues through the media in our society. Some people
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
that if they do not have their own dumping
systems
, the government must restrict
companies
that dispose of
waste
materials,
which is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
including toxins because it is one of the ways that can
preserve
Verb problem
solve
show examples
various environmental problems . I endorse the idea that they have responsibility for it. On the one hand, most
companies
like conglomerates should put in place their own
waste
systems
for the factories.
This
is because they use different types of materials to produce some products.
As a result
, they will able to throw out a lot of leaving and dis products
while
making mass items. So, they are likely to repeat
this
process again and again, and it leads to severe environmental problems related to air, soil and water.
Therefore
, these matters are getting worse
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
than ever before since there are built a huge amount of factories.
Moreover
, it can give citizens harmful effects if they do not operate
this
system properly.
For instance
, some
companies
dump the
waste
materials into other places like rivers and the ground or they burn their goods, which causes deterioration of the health of the folk. They will able to suffer from various diseases like pneumonia, lung cancer and dysentery.
For
this
reason, they have to construct their own
waste
systems
to prevent the bad effects.
To sum up
, if they do not have these
systems
, the government should prohibit them
to run
Change preposition
from running
show examples
their
companies
because it can bring not only environmental problems but
also
people's diseases.
Submitted by komi4144 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Task Response: The essay partially addresses the task, but the argument lacks depth and complexity. There is a need for a more comprehensive exploration of the issue, considering various perspectives and potential counterarguments.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates some logical structure and the presence of an introduction and conclusion. However, the organization of ideas could be improved for better clarity and coherence. Additionally, using cohesive devices more effectively would enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: