Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines. Does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages.

In
this
new era , technology is so advanced that anything is created to make man's
life
easier and faster.
That is
how
machines
became part of our everyday
life
. In the following paragraphs, I will give some advantages and disadvantages of how
machines
have impacted our lifestyles.
To begin
, in the ’90s, the majority of our house tours were made by ourselves , washing clothes and dishes and even cooking.But now
machines
are created to make our lives easier and faster . We now have
machines
for almost everything
such
as washing
machines
for clothes and dishes , microwaves to heat our food , a blender to grind all kinds of vegetables and even a kettle to boil water . All these
machines
save
time
,especially for workers and help us to spend more
time
concentrating on other important things in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. We Can now spend less
time
in the kitchen and more
time
with family .
In contrast
,
machines
have made us lazy . In
another word
Fix the agreement mistake
other words
show examples
, we are less productive and
this
has a huge effect on our health.
For instance
, doing housework by myself made me more active which can have a positive impact on my
Heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
.
Furthermore
,Children and teenagers depend on
machines
which makes them less productive, no
self esteems
Correct your spelling
self-esteem
show examples
because their practical sides have not been challenged. And when
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
are left alone in an environment without a machine , most of them hardly survive.
To conclude
,
machines
make our
life
easier and faster and
also
save us
time
but
however
, but it affects our health and our dependence on them is having an impact on our future children.
Submitted by crvenkatesh1904 on

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Task Achievement
Your essay contains some good points, but it lacks clear organization and structure. Make sure to clearly introduce the topic, provide a thesis statement, and support your main points with relevant examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and logical structure. Work on organizing your ideas in a more coherent manner. Use topic sentences to clearly introduce each main point and ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Efficiency
  • Manual labor
  • Displacement
  • Homemaking skills
  • Technological advancements
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Resource depletion
  • Energy efficiency
  • Social dynamics
  • Operational understanding
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