IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time and have health problems as a result. Why do so many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #exercise #time #health
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At present, so many
people
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 are having health issues, mainly due to having either no or little exercise for themselves.
Time
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 constraints
,
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apply
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 and lack of interest are some of the major causes of
this
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 dangerous problem and to overcome it,
people
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 can have different options
such
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 as cycling or walking while they travel to their workplace.
This
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 essay will elaborately discuss why
people
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 are not having enough exercise for themselves and possible solutions to override them. The main reason for not having enough exercise for
people
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 is the lack of
time
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. Many living today do not have spare
time
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 for other activities of life and are stuck to a routine schedule from the point they wake up in the morning to sleep at night.
Moreover
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, even if we have free
time
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 to engage in some physical activities, most of us are reluctant due to the availability of other options
such
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 as engaging with Social Media or Television. An example of one
such
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 case is my brother with Hypertension, where he uses Taxies to go to work so he could engage with Social media while travelling. To overcome
this
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 silent, but
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the
a
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life-killing problem, One can start with simple solutions. One of the basic solutions would be walking or cycling to the work even for a small distance. Perhaps a couple of Bus-Stops.
This
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 will automatically provide exercises to the entire body.
In addition
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,
people
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 could have simple workout machines which can be kept in a very small place in their room. So even a 10-minute workout before sleep could generate multiple benefits to the health of individuals. As an example,today there are so many promotions carried out on Televisions, Social Media for bicycle ride campaigns and promoting trends
such
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 as "Walk to the office". In summary, there are a lot of health issues due to the laziness behaviour of modern-day
people
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 due to the reasons
such
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 as lack of
time
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 and preferences.
However
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,
this
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 trend should be eliminated immediately and possibly start by at least doing simple exercises
such
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 as Cycling, Walking or investing some money and
time
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 in simple equipment.
Submitted by maheshweee on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Time constraints
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Passive leisure activities
  • Workplace wellness programs
  • Active commuting
  • Subsidized
  • Public awareness
  • Health benefits
  • Incentivizing
  • Accessible public spaces
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