IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some believe that we should invent a new language for international communication. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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Although
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 it is noticed, a few
people
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 believe that there is a need for a new
language
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 within the international community for interaction. There are few benefits
for
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to
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 inventing a new
language
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,
whereas
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 there are multiple issues, which can be raised based on the same decision. In my
opinion
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opinion,
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 there are more pros as compared to the cons.
This
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 essay will explain
about
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that
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 the disadvantages
overweigh
Verb problem
outweigh
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 the advantages
for
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of
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new
Correct article usage
a new
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 communication
language
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. Reasonable and beneficial change is extremely important in society. There are multiple issues, which can be faced across the globe in case a new international
language
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 is introduced.
Firstly
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, the process is extremely slow to understand the
language
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 which includes writing, reading, speaking and listening, especially
adults
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for adults
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, who will consume time to upgrade their
language
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 skills.
This
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 will downgrade buying power, as
less
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fewer
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people
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 will interact
due to
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 limited
language
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 skills, which
further
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 impact the economy of the country. As per the survey in the New York
times
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Times
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,
economy
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the economy
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 of
few
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a few
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 countries in the
last
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 decade declines, because of no understanding of
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the
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new international
language
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.
Secondly
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, there are
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
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 social interactions for a few years among the public, which leads to human depression in society because humans are social animals and always need some
language
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 to interact
within
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with
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 their friends, relatives, and professional work.
For instance
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, a few countries’ depression rate has increased as they start adapting to new international languages.
This
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 shows that there are repercussions faced by human beings
due to
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new
Correct article usage
a new
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language
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 introduction in society.
On the other hand
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, few benefits are noticed for new languages in case the first international
language
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 is not understandable in some countries. It can save
people
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 in case of emergencies and
using
Wrong verb form
use
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new
Change the adjective
newly
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 invented
language
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 which is understandable by both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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parties. It will allow the
people
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 to communicate.
For
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example
Add a comma
example,
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 Many Interpreter demands were decreased
due to
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invention
Correct article usage
the invention
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 of
new
Add an article
a new
the new
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language
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. In conclusion,
Invention
Correct article usage
the Invention
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 of
new
Correct article usage
a new
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language
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 needs to
evaluate
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be evaluated
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 based on pros and cons. I believe that there are more disadvantages
over
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than
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 advantages
based
Verb problem
apply
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. It is based on the
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people
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people's
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 decision to invent a new international
language
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 for communication.

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task achievement
Make sure that your main argument in the introduction is clear and consistent with your conclusion. Currently, the introduction suggests more pros than cons, but the body mostly discusses disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Try to structure your points more logically and ensure each paragraph clearly follows from the last. Some ideas feel slightly disconnected or repetitive, leading to confusion about the primary stance.
task achievement
Expand on your main points with more specific examples and clearer explanations to reinforce your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a framework for your argument.
task achievement
You attempt to address both sides of the argument, acknowledging some advantages, albeit briefly.
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