Watching a live performance such as a play, concert, or sporting event is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#live #performance #play #concert #event #television

When

people

participate in live

performances

, namely plays, concerts, or sports competitions, they are more upbeat and enjoyable than when they watch the same occasion on television. I agree with the above-mentioned point of view, and some reasons will be elaborated on in the subsequent paragraphs. Watching live

performances

has more positive effects,

such

as being delighted, than staying home and watching them on TV for some reasons.

To begin

with, if young and old

people

take part in live

events

, they can relieve the stress of their technological and fast-paced lifestyles,

although

watching live

performances

on television does not need to pay money for tickets.

In addition

people

are able to provide a lively atmosphere for their children by going to

such

events

For instance

, when a child goes to a live concert

instead

of staying at home, it makes her or him feel better.

As a result

, relieving stress and having a memorable day can be some of the reasons for going to live

performances

In other words

, individuals are capable of making more friends and getting familiar with other cultures and traditions when they participate in live concerts, ceremonies, and so on,

although

everybody's home is a reliable yet convenient place. A person who immigrates to a new country is able to establish connections with other

people

through live

performances

, and

this

is a great example of the effect of

such

events

As a consequence

, building a strong relationship with other

people

is the other reason for watching live

performances

. In conclusion, live

performances

, namely plays, concerts, or sports matches, grab

people

’s attention more than those broadcast via the media, including

TVs

Fix the agreement mistake

show examples

, because they are more attractive and enjoyable. In my view, going to live

events

can not only be beneficial but

also

have a great influence on many

people

Submitted by elyas271 on Mon Nov 14 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement which clearly states the writer's position on the topic. Consider clearly stating your stance in the introduction.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph flows logically from the one before it, providing a clear structure to your essay. In some places, the connection between ideas could be made stronger to improve coherence.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

303 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

immersive experience
replicated
energy
atmosphere
sense of community
shared excitement
unforgettable
predictable
convenience
comfort
crowds
travel
multiple camera angles
close-ups
replays
enhancing

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some people say that punishment is the best way to teach children to behave well, while others disagree and point out that rewarding and praising them is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In recent times, parents have relented in the manner by which they discipline their wards. The dialogue on whether or not to punish children has led to polarized views. Although, some individuals believe children should be dealt with when they misbehave so as to teach them morals, others are of a contrary opinion. In my view, I vehemently agree with the opinion that kids should be taught good behaviours by punishing them accordingly because it makes them be of good characters.
6.5
band
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Many people argue that the primary environmental issue is the extinction of specific creatures and plants. In contrast, a different group argues that more significant environmental issues exist. In my opinion, the extinction of creatures and greenery is undoubtedly one of the major environmental complications; however, there are more significant issues that are damaging nature, such as global warming and pollution.
4.5
band
Transport delays and long journey times are widespread phenomena in many cites today. What are the causes of this problem, and how could the situation be improved.
In modern times, people face the problem of delayed travel time due to traffic congestion. Today we will discuss the causes of these problems and how to solve them.
6.5
band
You have just read an article in an international travel magazine which contained some information about your town that is incorrect. Write a letter to the editor of t he magazine. In you letter •Correct the information in the acritical •Explain whey its is important for the magazine to vie the correct information •Suggest what the magazine should do about this situation
I hope you are doing great. I am writing this letter to tell you that I read a column in your magazine regarding the information about the urban areas of our country in which some knowledge about my town is wrong. I read the whole interesting article but the only thing which should be changed is related to the Flower City.
5
band
Some people believe that money spent on space exploration is not justifiable. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, governments and billionaires across the world allocated considerable amount of their resources to reach for the stars, aiming to shed some lights on the mystery surroundoing the space above us. However, I consider myself as an opposition to those space exploration missions as the resource can be allocated to resolve a more grounded, yet relevant problem for our civilization.

Watching a live performance such as a play, concert, or sporting event is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that punishment is the best way to teach children to behave well, while others disagree and point out that rewarding and praising them is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Transport delays and long journey times are widespread phenomena in many cites today. What are the causes of this problem, and how could the situation be improved.

Some people believe that money spent on space exploration is not justifiable. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?