A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.
Governments in some countries spend large amounts of
money
on the oil
search process. Eventually, the oil
resources will not be available in the future. Therefore
, I completely agree with the idea that it will be much more beneficial to use this
money
to develop new natural power resources.
There are several reasons why sustainable energy
is the logical alternative to spend money
on.
Firstly
, it is extremely expensive to extract oil
under the ground, because the time is very long, also
tools and equipment become in
a huge cost to the government. Change preposition
apply
Secondly
, oil
fields are exhaustible,due to
the high demand for oil
energy
from different areas around the world. Furthermore
, the consequences that come from oil
extraction and transportation, such
as air pollution and sea contamination.
I believe that the money
from searching for oil
should go to cleaner power resources and inexhaustible energy
, for example
, wind and solar energy
. In other words
, I encourage using renewable sources of energy
, that will never run out of supply. Also
, using these kinds of clean energy
would help our environment and prevent environmental disasters. One clear example is the Tsunami that happened in Indonesia in 2004, where a lot of people lost their lives. Indeed, oil
-producing countries, such
as Saudi Arabia start
to use a major part of the Wrong verb form
started
energy
budget on building solar fiels
covered with millions of solar Correct your spelling
fields
field
files
pannels
.
In conclusion. Correct your spelling
panels
while
a lot of money
being
spent on searching for and extracting Add a missing verb
is being
oil
,then
in the future will exhaust
, I rather use Verb problem
apply
this
budget on searching for renewable energy
.Submitted by hguwfhkd on
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task achievement
The essay provides clear reasons and examples, but the introduction could be more engaging and concise. Focus on a stronger hook to capture the reader's attention.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear core idea and that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. Aim to improve the linkage between sentences for better coherence.
task achievement
Minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'Tsunami that happened' and 'oil fields are exhaustible,due to,' should be corrected for better clarity. Proofreading can help in achieving this.
task achievement
The essay covers the question effectively, discussing both the negatives of oil and the positives of alternative energy sources.
task achievement
It includes relevant specific examples, like the Tsunami in Indonesia and Saudi Arabia’s solar fields, which help to support the points made.
coherence cohesion
The paragraphs are well-structured and each sentence logically follows the previous one, demonstrating good coherence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.