IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think it is important to spend a lot of money on a wedding celebration, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #money #celebration
The majority of people believe it is critical to expense a big amount of
money
to
Remove the particle
apply
show examples
prepare for their wedding party , while other people disagree with
this
 view. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 I completely agree to spend a
lot
 of
money
 to have a memorable
day
, and in
this
 ,
essay
Add an article
an essay
the essay
show examples
 I will explain why it is important and draw up my own conclusion .
Initially
, in terms of the positive sides of spending a
lot
 of
money
 on a wedding celebration they might had a memorable and great
day
 in their life .
This
 is because, it is just one
day
 in their life and it is crucial for them and for their families and their friends,
in addition
, they should prepare for
this
 night very well .
For example
 , they should select the best place and they
also
 should consider the weather carefully and they need to order the best dinner which will definitely cost a
lot
 of
money
 .
Also
 , they need to invite a professional photographer to take some pictures for them to always remember
this
day
 . One example to prove
this
 is if they have a great photo on
this
day
 they might save it to show their children in the future .
On the other hand
 , despite the positive effect of spending huge
money
 on a wedding ,celebration there are some drawbacks to
this
 situation.
Firstly
 , they might not have a suitable budget and if they spend all their
money
 on
this
day
 they will suffer for entire their life and
also
 they can’t have a honeymoon to travel and have an amazing time with each other. The reason behind
this
 is, travel has now become more and more expensive and If they spent their
money
 on their wedding they can’t travel and see the other world. In conclusion , spending a
lot
 of
money
 on a vital
day
 to always remember
this
day
 is completely fine just for rich people and who they are capable for hold the cost .
Submitted by Noufalbahouth5 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: