IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The 21st century has begun. What changes do you think this new century will bring? Use examples and details in your answer.

#st #century #changes
With the development of the new century, so many inventions have been designed with high technologies, computer science and so on can modern the world in the fastest way that we have
never
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ever
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 seen before.
This
 may cause some changes in our daily life and in the near future.
First
 of all, due to people’s demand in society, more and more discoveries appear by scientists, physicians, companies with
higher
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the higher
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 ambition to change the world and governments of many large countries.
Moreover
, we are expected to have up-to-date and additional devices, tools and technologies for the
further
prospective
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perspective
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such
 as spaceships to visit
others planet
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other planets
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, robots that can help us arrange everything in our dwelling and a kind of gas we can breathe in. I do believe that we will have more and more equipment to survive in any harsh condition without help from others or lack of rescue.
Secondly
, what we actually have in the 21st century that
have
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has
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 changed
human’s
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human
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 life the most is
smartphone
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a smartphone
the smartphone
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, recently, people have had a lot of opportunities to meet their family from
far
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a far
the far
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 distance through video calls, more convenient to make international friends and follow the news from other countries. Through the covid 19 pandemic, I
my
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may
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 predicted, there will be
a
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apply
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considerable progress in biology where new and
effected
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effective
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 vaccines will be produced in the
next
 20 years that are necessary for our health. All in all, we have just been through
one fifth
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one-fifth
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 of the century yet so many inventions have been created to fashion the world and brought a lot of advantages.
Furthermore
, I am sure that
owe
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owing
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 to the development of technologies and people’s
demand
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demands
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 in their life, millions of contrives will be invented soon and bring more benefits
changes
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and changes
show examples
.
Submitted by josduynhat on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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