Some people think that the government should increase tax on unhealthy food to encourage people to start eating healthily. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many
people
believe that the government should raise
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
on junk
food
to get
people
to eat the right foods. I completely agree with
this
statement and I think that if the government does not raise the tax,
people
will get used to unhealthy
food
even more.
This
essay will discuss why I agree
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
with some examples. First of all, now
people
tend to buy unhealthy
food
, but I thought if you increase the price of unhealthy
food
, even a small part of
people
will stop eating
this
bad
food
. Unhealthy
food
brings a lot of harm to the body and health of
people
.
Nowaday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
show examples
many
people
are faced with the problem of obesity.
People
can't stop eating various fried foods.
According to
statistics, every year more than 1000
people
die from obesity.
However
, these
people
can't stop and because of
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
the government should increase
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
on unhealthy
food
.
Secondly
, it's
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proven method that eating a lot of unhealthy
food
can lead to high blood pressure, which in turn increases the risk of
heart
Add an article
a heart
show examples
attack in
people
of all ages.
For example
, Harry Miller from America where
people
died more
due to
fast
food
or unhealthy
food
. Harry always ate fast
food
and because of
this
, he became overweight and
also
his heart failed.
Therefore
, he spent the
last
2 years of
life
Correct pronoun usage
his life
show examples
in the hospital with healthy
food
.
To conclude
, I strongly believe that
people
will understand the harm of unhealthy
food
and decide to eat less or even remove it from
the
Change the word
their
show examples
diet.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unhealthy food
  • junk food
  • calorie-dense
  • taxing
  • incentivize
  • manufacturers
  • prohibitively expensive
  • disproportionately
  • low-income households
  • healthcare costs
  • obesity
  • diet-related diseases
  • punitive measures
  • lifestyle choices
  • government intervention
  • food industry
  • economic impact
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