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Writing Samples
Band 4

In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing cournties. However, those, in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this?

#times #growth #cournties #countries
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Economic development has been rapidly growing all around the globe, helping a large number of individuals to increase their financial income. Yet, some of the current rich
people
Use synonyms
, living in developed countries, are not as happy as their predecessors. In
this
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 essay, I will show some of the reasons for
this
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 trend and what can be learnt. The main reason for
people
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to be
Change the verb form
are
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 less happy these days is
because
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that
show examples
 their
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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life style
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lifestyle
show examples
 has changed. In the past,
people
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 used to
spent
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spend
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 more
time
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 socializing than being at home; individuals now
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prefer
preffer
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prefer
 to spend their free
time
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 at home watching
netflix
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Netflix
NetFlix
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 or playing video games. To justify, it is well known that rich
people
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 spend a large amount of
money
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 on online games, which
leds
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leads
led
LEDs
 them to be
isoleted
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isolated
 at home investing more
their
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of their
show examples
time
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 in the game rather than with their friends.
This
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 behaviour may give them a feeling of
Correct your spelling
happiness
happines
Correct your spelling
happiness
 that easily goes away once their computer is off. If
people
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 take into account what is happening, they
Correct your spelling
might
migth
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might
 be able to avoid that feeling and be
Add an article
a focus
the focus
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focus
Wrong verb form
focused
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in
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on
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 what really
matter
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matters
show examples
; family and friendship. Human beings are now aware
how
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of how
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 fast
money
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 can
be earn
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be earned
show examples
 but spending quality
time
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 with family is something that
money
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 can not buy.
Also
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, it has been
prove
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proven
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 that going out with close friends increases the dopamine level in the body, which is the main responsible for the feeling of
Correct your spelling
happiness
happines
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happiness
.
Hence
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, having
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 social
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lifestyle
show examples
life style
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lifestyle
show examples
,
accompany
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accompanied
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with
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by
show examples
 a somewhat of
money
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, can be extremely relevant when it comes to a cheerful life. To conclude,
although
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money
Use synonyms
 is becoming easy to
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achieve
achive
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achieve
,
people
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 should be
Add an article
a focus
the focus
show examples
focus
Wrong verb form
focused
show examples
 on spending quality
time
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 with their close family and friend
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instead
insted
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instead
 of being
focus
Wrong verb form
focused
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 on technological instruments,
such
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 as online games.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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