IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that no one should be allowed to continue working after the age of 65. However, others say there shouldn't be a limitation on age and anyone should be allowed to work regardless of their age. Discuss both views, give your own opinion and include relevant examples.

#people #age #shouldn #limitation #anyone #work
People
 may concern that
age
 is a key standard to evaluating working feasibility. Yet from my perspective, I believe that
age
 should not be a
limitation
 for
one
 to perform. No matter how old the
people
 are, they still can contribute themselves.
Age
 should not be the bar to hindering the elderly working willingness.
For example
, take the stock investment field, the older
people
 like Warrant
Baffet
Correct your spelling
Buffet
, who is already aged 90, still read annual reports daily and join each target companies conference. They firmly believe, after having yearly experience, their viewpoints of the market and decisions are more mature and accurate than the young
people
. Clearly, it is unreasonable to ban older
people
 from working merely because of
age
 to judge their performance. Admittedly, some of the
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
 requires high physical conditions which is not proper for older
people
.
For example
, in the sports field,
age
 represents
one
Correct your spelling
physical
phyisical
Correct your spelling
physical
limitation
 which means the body's nature
limitation
 will decrease their overall performance in the competition.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
 meet the basic
age
 they tend to retire, they still will be a coach to contribute themselves. Take Taiwan as an example, a man can still be a coach in school when his
age
 is over 65.
Hence
, we can obviously see that
age
 might be kind of
limitation
 to have an impact on their work but it does not ask them to abandon working in the end. In brief,
age
 is just the basic standard to filter the
one
 is fit for a specific position or not but it should not be the signal to judge whether
one
 can work or not. No matter in the stock market or sports field, those investors or players maybe are old but they still can bring their experience to the
next
 generation in multiple ways.
Submitted by gcn0601 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • mandatory retirement
  • workforce regeneration
  • transition planning
  • cognitive decline
  • predictable transition
  • physical endurance
  • job performance
  • financial necessity
  • personal fulfillment
  • flexible retirement policy
  • economic reasons
  • expertise
  • consultancy roles
  • active participation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: