Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to let you know that I am facing problems with my housemate. Accommodation is fine, everything is fine but I'm not able to tolerate my friend it's almost impossible to stay with him.
Let me explain my situation, the trouble started three months ago when my roommate moved in. Prior to that, there were no problems with the old mate but the new one is really difficult. I really get disturbed when he plays loud music at night, playing games all night with loud sounds and that interrupts my sleep and it's difficult for me to concentrate on my studies.
Would you kindly transfer me or my flatmate to another room? I would prefer a mate who is quieter and considerate of others. As long as it's quiet I don't have any problem with whom I live.
Thank you for your consideration.
Yours faithfully,
Kulbeer Kaur
You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In the letter, describe the situation explain your problems and why it is difficult to work say what kind of accommodation you would prefer
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task achievement
Your letter addresses the situation and requests a solution, which aligns with the task requirements. The explanation of the problems and the request for specific accommodation types were clear. To improve your score, make sure to expand on each point by adding more details about how the situation affects you personally and suggesting possible solutions. This will help in achieving a more complete response to the task.
coherence cohesion
Your letter's structure is generally logical, with an introduction, explanation of the situation, and a conclusion. However, to enhance coherence and cohesion, consider organizing your ideas more clearly into paragraphs. Each paragraph should deal with a separate aspect of your situation (e.g., one paragraph about the noise issue, another about your personal impact, and a third one requesting specific changes). Using a wider range of linking words and phrases can also help in creating smoother transitions between ideas.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.