People spend too much time on the internet. Do you agree or disagree?
Today, more and more people
use
prolonged Verb problem
spend
time
on the internet daily. Some research said that this
trend has dramatically increased for two decades. I strongly agree with the above statements as it is much more convenient than others.
On the one hand, there are some aspects for people who spend much time
on the internet for work or study. To begin
with, it leads to enhanced workers who work more efficiently. For instance
, some technical experts always use
a long Verb problem
spend
time
doing research or survey
online, Fix the agreement mistake
surveys
such
as inventing their new products such
as Apple store employees. Another advantage is providing various information for students who search the facts of articles online. It needs much time
to explore or be evident. That's why I believe that students may spend a lot of time
finding out.
Even though there are some beneficial points for human beings, a lot of pupils are often used for a long time
online leading to chronic illness. For example
, it is a fact that many surveys claim that if a huge number of pupils spent more time
online daily, it would cause chronic pain such
as the neck and shoulder. This
results in many people having to treat their illness frequently as it could affect their work performance.
In a nutshell, following the above statements, there are some pros for humans working online every day. However
, this
may cause problems when they spent
a lot of Wrong verb form
spend
time
on the internet
. I suggest that if employees or learners can set a timetable for them using an online way, it will prevent chronic pain from occurring.Capitalize word
Internet
Submitted by jimmy.wong.wp on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
The response does not fully address the task. The essay presents some arguments for and against spending time on the internet, but the focus and development of the positions are unclear. The essay lacks a clear thesis statement that states the position taken.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear organizational structure. The ideas are presented in a disorganized manner, which makes it difficult for the reader to follow the logical progression of the argument. The use of transition words and cohesive devices is limited, leading to a lack of coherence and cohesion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite