IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

These days, it is pervasive to have people from two different generations mix in ‎the same workplace. Are there more advantages or disadvantages to this ‎situation? Give your own opinion and include relevant examples.‎

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Well, it is common to see that youngsters,
adults
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 and
elders
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work
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 together in all fields or businesses. I believe that
this
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 essay intends to both,
however
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,
merits
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the merits
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 are far more than
demerits
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the demerits
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 of
this
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 trend. Which
i
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I
show examples
 shall elaborate in forth-coming paragraphs
with
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on
show examples
 the advancement of my knowledge, along with a specific conclusion. To commence with
constructives
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the constructives
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 of
this
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 essay, the
first
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 and foremost is that it is beneficial for juveniles and
adults
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 because they can get experience from their seniors or
elders
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, who have great experience of their life according to their age. To be precise, they have strategies
how
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for how
show examples
 to strike balance between
budget
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the budget
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 and expenditures of
business
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the business
show examples
.
For instance
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, in
past
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the past
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time
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,
elders
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 used to run their
business
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businesses
show examples
 on small
exhequer
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exchequer
 and they easily handle their losses and profits.
Hence
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, if they all
work
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 together they can learn many things
such
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 as how to deal with clients, consumers, money
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management
mangement
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management
 and how to
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achieve
acheive
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achieve
work
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 goals on
time
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. Along with
this
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, employees can get
work
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exposer
Replace the word
exposure
show examples
 from their
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colleagues
collegues
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colleagues
on
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in
show examples
 their workplace. To elaborate, when they
work
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 together they share their innovative ideas. As all people have
differernt
Correct your spelling
different
 opinions on a particular topic, menace which they have to face on their
work
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.
Thus
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, they share their thoughts and get
acquianted
Correct your spelling
acquainted
 with new
new
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
techiques
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techniques
.
Additionally
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, when they
work
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 together, all workers do
team
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teamwork
show examples
work
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 and meetings which assist
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 making better
relation
Fix the agreement mistake
relations
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 with their teammates and that
time
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 no matter of age.
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Therefore
Therfore
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Therefore
, it
also
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 helps to overcome the problem of
generation
Correct article usage
the generation
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 gap and they make strong bonds which displayed
unity
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the unity
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 of generations at their workplace. There are some
destructives
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destructive
destructiveness
 of
this
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 statement is that if different generations
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pursue
persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
work
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 together sometimes they have to face difficulty in making decisions because
adults
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 think by their own perspective and
elders
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 use their traditional methods that
time
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 decisions are delayed as any organization gain profit when their team
work
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 together. Apart from
this
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, as in these
days
Add a comma
,days
show examples
adults
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 depend on technical gadgets to do calculations,
making
Wrong verb form
make
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 files and
orgainsing
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organising
organizing
 data
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
times
elders
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 find it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
difficult and
adults
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 think
elders
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 waste their
time
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 because they use old strategies. In conclusion,
although
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their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 are
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 drawbacks of mixing age employees at
same
Correct article usage
the same
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work
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,
nevertheless
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,
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
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are outstrip
Change the verb form
outstrip
show examples
 the disadvantages in terms of getting experience,
work
Use synonyms
exposer
Replace the word
exposure
show examples
 and learning new strategies.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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