IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Modern technology has made it easier for individuals to download copyrighted music and books from the internet for no charge . To what extent is this a positive or a negative development ?

#technology #individuals #download #music #books #internet #charge #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, the advancement of technology is prevalent in society.
Hence
, it is easy for everyone to obtain the melody and written chapters without payment from the online platform.
This
 essay depicts
this
 phenomenon brings negative consequences which curb people's creativity and invade property intelligence rights. 
To begin
 with,
this
 behaviour contributes to the inventor who does not desire to produce any innovative product, either in music or novel online.
That is
 to say; the original publisher's product does not receive the equivalent worth of remuneration since he puts great effort into the output of the task.
Hence
, he would not like to utilize his wisdom to deliver any novel project. To cite an example, a survey conducted in the entertainment industry shows that more singers are keen to host an international concert in person rather than producing a new album due to the reduction of earnings from the KKBox online music platform.
As a result
, any professionals would rather adopt another method to make a living.
Secondly
, since the property intelligent right can be invaded by the random public owing to the fact of the unlimited widespread of free music. It is detrimental for any inventors to put any new project online.
Moreover
, it contributes to an adverse effect that no one is willing to believe our official system can protect any copyright so as to downgrade the quality of our domestic
products
.
Consequently
, any
products
 manufactured in our nation can be rejected by other foreign consumers. To exemplify, the numerous commercial
products
 made by China are difficult to sell in Taiwan due to the fact that our citizens do not trust their product's quality. In conclusion, in the light of receiving any publishing
products
 easier online, any creators are not likely to output excellent merchandise, and customers may not believe in any items that one particular country produces. Due to the aforementioned reasons, it has an unfavourable trend.
Therefore
, I recommend that the authority should keep the eye on monitoring illegitimate downloading behaviours.
Submitted by claire9377 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: