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Band 3.5

Schools should not force children to learn a foreign language. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#schools #force #children #language
In modern society, people have to catch up with the development of science and technology,
more
Correct word choice
and more
show examples
 and more foreign
language
 is used
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
Therefore
,
personally
Add a comma
,personally
show examples
 I think
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 have to force children to study a foreign
language
. Thanks to
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
we can have many
choice
Change to a plural noun
choices
show examples
 in
your
Correct pronoun usage
our
show examples
 career. If school teach you
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
language
 and you use them frequently, the way you say
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 somebody is very good. When you grow up, you need to have a job to earn money. Nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jobs
based
Add a missing verb
are based
show examples
 on some opinions which the employee and employer in the company agree
choosing
Change preposition
on choosing
show examples
this people
Change the determiner
this person
these people
show examples
 and the best option is commution. The job you choose
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
that is
Correct your spelling
salesman
saleman
Correct your spelling
salesman
, you
also
 know
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
 to talk to the foreigners
want
Correct pronoun usage
who want
show examples
 to buy. So when you learn
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
 well, it will help too much in your career.
Moreover
, school obliged you to study
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
, you have the basic grammar and vocabulary so that you can communicate
confidence
Replace the word
confidently
show examples
 with
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
 people. That makes the opportunity for you to go abroad. When you go abroad, you can know more about another country. Creating for you the condition
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 your life. In conclusion, in your life have to know
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
. It brings
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
you too many benefits and
know
Wrong verb form
knowing
show examples
 more foreign
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
also
 help you better
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
today.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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