IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think that getting a degree from university is the best way to guarantee a good job, others believe that it would be better to go straight into work and get experience instead. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #university #guarantee #job #work
It is frequently believed that guarantee of getting a profitable
job
 is graduating from
university
, while others consider that going straight into work and gaining experience is better. The statement is controversial, so both opinions will be discussed in
this
 essay. Personally, I would agree that graduating from
university
 is a significant measure
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 getting a good
job
. On the one hand,
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 education gives knowledge both practical and theoretical in certain
spere
Correct your spelling
sphere
show examples
, that are essential for
further
 internship. As well as some professions require education and could not be done without one. Examples can be doctors or lawyers, who must have a
university
degree
 to perform. As well as often people with
Add an article
a degree
show examples
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
 are more valuable. In case a lot of people apply for a
job
,
university
 graduates are mostly in priority for employers.
On the other hand
, it is a lot of time and money spent for getting a
university
degree
. That would be a vital factor that creates an opinion that it is better to go straight to work and get experience. It gives an opportunity to save time and get a lot of practical knowledge that
university
 alumni often do not have after graduating
a
Change preposition
from a
show examples
university
.
Furthermore
, for some occupations, professional courses are available, that provide
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
students with
needed
Add an article
the needed
show examples
 knowledge in
certain
Add an article
the certain
a certain
show examples
sphere
Fix the agreement mistake
spheres
show examples
 in a shorter period than
university
. That could save time and still help with getting a
job
. In conclusion,
decision
Add an article
the decision
show examples
whether
Change preposition
of whether
show examples
 to get a
university
degree
 or to go straight to work
Add a missing verb
is bases
show examples
bases
Correct your spelling
based
show examples
 on a variety of factors.
However
, often
university
 alumni are more competitive
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
job
 market and could have certain privileges,
such
 as universities often
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
 their students with an internship. That could be an actual guarantee
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 getting a good
job
.
Submitted by anya.shihytsk on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: