IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

IN SOME COUNTRIES MORE AND MORE ADULTS ARE CONTINUING TO LIVE WITH PARENTS EVEN AFTER COMPLETING THEIR EDUCATION AND GETTING JOBS. DO THE ADVANTAGES OUTWIEGH DISADVANTAGES.

#countries #adults #parents #education #jobs #outwiegh
offspring's love for their
parents
 is a naturally gifted entity and has withstood the test of time. Some people believe that the trend of adults residing with their
parents
 even after they have fulfilled their studies and started their careers has escalated over the years. From my perspective,
this
 direction has plenty of benefits but a few side effects as well. On the one hand, there are a variety of positive sides to living in a joint family system.
Firstly
, at the time when adults finish their studies and secure jobs, guardians need them the most for their assistance.
This
 is a crucial time for the heir to support them both financially and physically.
For example
, they need assistance in house chores
such
 as washing, shopping, cooking and sometimes even feeding.
Secondly
, serving mothers and fathers later in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 gives us a feeling of satisfaction and pride. Which in turn leads to a friendly environment for our kids.
Thirdly
, it is a common observation that minors living in undivided families tend to be more social and interactive. Which is
very
Rephrase
apply
show examples
pivotal for their upcoming practical
life
.
In other words
, scion staying with a variety of family members tend to be loving, caring, boldly communicating and have fewer behavioural issues.
On the other hand
,
this
 trend has a few drawbacks as well.
To begin
 with, the personal
life
 of both individuals is compromised which is currently a very debatable issue.
For instance
, arguing among different family members sometimes
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 the environment very uncomfortable and disturbed for the other members of the family.
Moreover
, spending
life
 with elders turns children to become dependent. To elaborate on the point, the majority of individuals who
depends
Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
show examples
 on their
parents
 do not progress in their
life
 without the support of the elder resulting in their lagging in future
life
.
To sum up
,
although
this
 trend has a few negative sides, in my opinion living with
parents
 has way more pros than living separately. It helps in establishing a strong relationship with the elders
as well as
 with the children.
Therefore
 both of them enjoy the company of one another.
Submitted by drsanaghani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that the ideas are logically organized and connected to each other. Use transition words and phrases to improve the coherence of the essay.
task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the task with clear and comprehensive ideas. Ensure to provide more relevant specific examples to support your points.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: