IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people have decided to reduce the number of times they fly every year or to stop flying altogether. Do you think the environmental benefits of this development outweight the disadvantages for individuals and business?

The number of
flights
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 has increased in recent years as more and more people
travel
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 by air. Some individuals believe that
this
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 is a negative development , and we should lessen the number of
flights
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 or even stop travelling by plane. Personally, I think that the disadvantages for the people and airline companies outweigh the advantages for the
environment
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 in terms of the economy and tourism industry for all
countries
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 that depend on airlines. Restricting all
flights
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 and plane services would have negative consequences on tourism industries and the economic growth of the country , as they keep the
countries
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 going that rely only on plane transportation.
In addition
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 , there are
countries
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 that landlocked by the oceans and can only boost its economy by welcoming tourists and exporting their goods to other parts of the world by planes,
for instance
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, Japan and
countries
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 that are located on islands and don’t have any other means of transportation than flying without airline services will not be able to attract overseas visitors or to sell their products.
Furthermore
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, the airline industry has less negative impact on the
environment
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 than other means of transportation;
therefore
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, stopping all
flights
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 would not make big changes to the
environment
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 and would not reduce pollution and carbon dioxide ,
together with
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 the emissions that transport often produces. Rather than restricting air
travel
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,
countries
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 should reduce other means of sources of
travel
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, like cars and trains. In conclusion, from my perspective , restricting air
travel
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 would not have any effect on the
environment
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 , and the disadvantages outweigh the advantages in the case of travelling and economic growth.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction. You can use phrases like 'I believe' or 'In my opinion.'
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs need to be more connected. Try using linking words like 'firstly,' 'secondly,' or 'also' to guide the reader.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger. For instance, mention specific impact on jobs in tourism.
coherence and cohesion
Try to write more complex sentences. This will improve your overall writing style.
task achievement
Your essay discusses the impacts on tourism and the economy well, showing understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
You provide a conclusion that summarizes your view clearly, which is important in an essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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