IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people believe that showing big sporting events like the Olympics and the World Cup encourages adults to exercise. Others think there are better ways to make people to exercise. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Give relevant examples.

#people #events #olympics #world #cup #adults #exercise
The majority of people think that the most popular and up-to-date sports programmes
such
 as The FIFA or Olympic games can inspire adolescents to play some sports and to pay attention to their health.
On the other hand
, there are various options to make mature people exercise. I will enunciate my views in the subsequent paragraphs. It is generally acknowledged that TV exists in order to influence our minds.
However
, it is not always in a bad way.
For instance
, when I watched a crucial American
dance
 competition which was on TV I was so impressed and inspired by the participants and their moves. I was eager to
dance
 as well as they were.
Therefore
, I went to a
dance
 studio and
this
 was definitely a turning point in my life. I found a
dance
 crew and we took place in numerous competitions and shows. Nowadays, I am passionate about dancing.
On the contrary
, in our modern world humanity should have been taught to exercise since their childhood. There are a lot of resources that make our lives effortless. We can gain new information from books, films or even the internet.
For example
, we were taught how to keep fit and improve our skills.
Consequently
, we can use our experience in the future. In my point of view, every single way to do fitness or any other sport is beneficial for the population. The most paramount thing that we need is motivation. In conclusion, the best way to exercise is to teach children how to be active and healthy.
In addition
, if people watch some sports events they can be more motivated to be a better version of themselves.
Submitted by danapothetiv on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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