Some people believe that showing big sporting events like the Olympics and the World Cup encourages adults to exercise. Others think there are better ways to make people to exercise. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Give relevant examples.

#people #events #olympics #world #cup #adults #exercise

The majority of people think that the most popular and up-to-date sports programmes

such

as The FIFA or Olympic games can inspire adolescents to play some sports and to pay attention to their health.

On the other hand

, there are various options to make mature people exercise. I will enunciate my views in the subsequent paragraphs. It is generally acknowledged that TV exists in order to influence our minds.

However

, it is not always in a bad way.

For instance

, when I watched a crucial American

dance

competition which was on TV I was so impressed and inspired by the participants and their moves. I was eager to

dance

as well as they were.

Therefore

, I went to a

dance

studio and

this

was definitely a turning point in my life. I found a

dance

crew and we took place in numerous competitions and shows. Nowadays, I am passionate about dancing.

On the contrary

, in our modern world humanity should have been taught to exercise since their childhood. There are a lot of resources that make our lives effortless. We can gain new information from books, films or even the internet.

For example

, we were taught how to keep fit and improve our skills.

Consequently

, we can use our experience in the future. In my point of view, every single way to do fitness or any other sport is beneficial for the population. The most paramount thing that we need is motivation. In conclusion, the best way to exercise is to teach children how to be active and healthy.

In addition

, if people watch some sports events they can be more motivated to be a better version of themselves.

Submitted by danapothetiv on Wed Nov 16 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

279 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that showing big sporting events like the Olympics and the World Cup encourages adults to exercise. Others think there are better ways to make people to exercise. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Give relevant examples.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Water pollution has been an increasing problem over the last few decades. What are the causes and effects of water pollution?

The number of people being sent to prison is increasing year by year. While some people believe prison is the best way to tackle crime, others suggest that community service is more successful.”