IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

you have been offered a job overseas that you applied for. Write a letter to your friend who is already knows about that job as well. .Tell what kind of job it is .explain why you applied for this job .ask your friend about the country

#job #friend #country
Dear Pappey, I hope
this
 letter finds you. I'm writing to you to tell you that I have been offered a job in Australia. Let me give you some details about the job I've got. My position will be project manager at the site. I'll have a car and two supervisors with me
while
 I work there.
Firstly
, I'll need to do surveying of materials which are used at the construction.
Secondly
, one of my duties is checking staff who work regularly with us at the office.
Also
, I'll organise meetings with stakeholders when the meetings are necessary for work. You know why I applied
this
 job for, right? It's always good to gain new experiences and see new cultures. After all 5 years
experience
Change preposition
of experience
show examples
 in Soma, I said that it's time to explore new things which are essential for my career. I would like to ask you about how's the culture in Australia and what
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the lifestyle looks like. By the way, I'm a drinker as you know and it'd be great if you could explain to me about nightlife as well. How do people treat themselves on the weekend? If there is good nature, I can bring my camping stuff and you can show me around. I can't wait to hear from you, my friend. Best Regards, Atilla
Submitted by matillazeyrek on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and the supporting sentences are directly related to it.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs more smoothly.
task achievement
Expand on each point you make to provide a fuller response to the letter prompts, offering more detailed explanations where possible.
task achievement
The writing tone is mostly suitable, but remain consistent in formality throughout the letter.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: