Studies have shown that most criminals have low levels of education. Because of this many believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate prisoners so they can get a job after being released. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#studies #criminals #levels #education #crime #prisoners #job

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In recent years, some research has made it clear that the majority of criminal people have a limited

education

As a result

, it is believed that the most appropriate choice to minimize the number of crimes is to provide

education

for prisoners, resulting in job opportunities in the future.

However

, in my opinion, it is not the best approach in terms of solution. On the one hand, those who support

education

programs claim that it has several benefits.

Firstly

, it can enhance the employment level among convicts. To illustrate,

offering

Change preposition

by offering

show examples

individuals vocational

education

, they have a chance to gain real experience and essential skills,

such

as communication or business.

As a consequence

this

solution, criminals avoid turning to crime again and their choices can change positively, becoming productive members of society.

Also

, by educating offenders, countries'

overall

economy is enhanced because of taxes.

Nevertheless

, I assert that it is not the best way to address a crime level,

instead

, it will result in life-threatening consequences for society's welfare and security. If people who break the laws are not punished severely, it is inevitable that they can re-offend, which puts humans in danger. Individuals who are on the street cannot feel safe.

Therefore

, punishments

instead

education

have the capacity to diminish the number of lawbreakers, deterring crimes. In conclusion,

although

suggesting

education

programs for prisoners have positive impacts on countries' revenue,

as well as

the job sector, I think the best way to tackle

this

problem is to implement punishments.

Submitted by Name_1234 on Thu Mar 28 2024

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Task Achievement

Develop your argument with more specific examples and evidence. While you clearly express your stance and provide reasons, incorporating detailed examples from real-life situations or studies can greatly enrich your argument and make it more convincing.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay follows a logical structure, but you can enhance coherence by improving transitions between ideas. Consider using a wider range of linking phrases to smoothly guide the reader from one point to the next, making your argument flow more naturally.

Task Achievement

It's important to examine both sides of an argument in depth to fully address the prompt. While you have presented a contrary opinion, further examination of this perspective before stating your conclusion could provide a more balanced view and strengthen your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

recidivism
vocational training
rehabilitation
reformation
reintegration
dissuade
systemic factors
educational programs
crime deterrent
post-release employment
upskilling
social reintegration
stigma
holistic approach
socioeconomic factors

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Studies have shown that most criminals have low levels of education. Because of this many believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate prisoners so they can get a job after being released. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today's world subjects like Science and technology are more important than History. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Now a days, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their employees' lives easier?

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

If a person is found to be under the influence of drugs or alcohol while driving, they should be banned from driving for life, whether they were involved in an accident or not. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?