Studies have shown that most criminals have low levels of education. Because of this many believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate prisoners so they can get a job after being released. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#studies #criminals #levels #education #crime #prisoners #job

In recent years, some research has made it clear that the majority of criminal people have a limited

education

As a result

, it is believed that the most appropriate choice to minimize the number of crimes is to provide

education

for prisoners, resulting in job opportunities in the future.

However

, in my opinion, it is not the best approach in terms of solution. On the one hand, those who support

education

programs claim that it has several benefits.

Firstly

, it can enhance the employment level among convicts. To illustrate,

offering

Change preposition

by offering

show examples

individuals vocational

education

, they have a chance to gain real experience and essential skills,

such

as communication or business.

As a consequence

this

solution, criminals avoid turning to crime again and their choices can change positively, becoming productive members of society.

Also

, by educating offenders, countries'

overall

economy is enhanced because of taxes.

Nevertheless

, I assert that it is not the best way to address a crime level,

instead

, it will result in life-threatening consequences for society's welfare and security. If people who break the laws are not punished severely, it is inevitable that they can re-offend, which puts humans in danger. Individuals who are on the street cannot feel safe.

Therefore

, punishments

instead

education

have the capacity to diminish the number of lawbreakers, deterring crimes. In conclusion,

although

suggesting

education

programs for prisoners have positive impacts on countries' revenue,

as well as

the job sector, I think the best way to tackle

this

problem is to implement punishments.

Submitted by Name_1234 on Thu Mar 28 2024

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Task Achievement

Develop your argument with more specific examples and evidence. While you clearly express your stance and provide reasons, incorporating detailed examples from real-life situations or studies can greatly enrich your argument and make it more convincing.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay follows a logical structure, but you can enhance coherence by improving transitions between ideas. Consider using a wider range of linking phrases to smoothly guide the reader from one point to the next, making your argument flow more naturally.

Task Achievement

It's important to examine both sides of an argument in depth to fully address the prompt. While you have presented a contrary opinion, further examination of this perspective before stating your conclusion could provide a more balanced view and strengthen your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

recidivism
vocational training
rehabilitation
reformation
reintegration
dissuade
systemic factors
educational programs
crime deterrent
post-release employment
upskilling
social reintegration
stigma
holistic approach
socioeconomic factors

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Studies have shown that most criminals have low levels of education. Because of this many believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate prisoners so they can get a job after being released. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?

most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result. agree or disagree

In many cities there is a lack of space to develop and as a result, in order to modernise, old buildings are demolished and replaced with new buildings. What are the disadvantages of knocking down old buildings? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people try to create a balance between their professional life and their personal life. However, very few are able to achieve such a balance. What problems stop people from achieving a work-life balance? How can these problems be overcome?