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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

COMMUNITIES AND HELPING EACH OTHER We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#communities #world #countries
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The
people
Use synonyms
 in the world have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
identification
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 your
country
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. A form of life. When you help
to
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apply
show examples
other
people
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 or
other
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another country
other countries
show examples
country
Use synonyms
, you have character because only some
people
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 understand your help. We cannot help everyone in the world that needs helps
for example
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Bolivia have nine
countries
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, three hot zones are together when one
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the other. In the
countries
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, communities
helping
Wrong verb form
help
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. In
other
Change the wording
another place
other places
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place
Add a comma
,place
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
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 don’t help
to
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apply
show examples
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
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or
Correct word choice
apply
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when need some
of
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apply
show examples
emergency
Add an article
the emergency
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. When was having
problems
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 of water and
Correct your spelling
environment
environmental
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environmental
problems
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 in Santa Cruz (Chiquitania)
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 The
people
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 of Cochabamba, Tarija,
sucre
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Sucre
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, Potosi, Pando, La Paz, Oruro and others help
to
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apply
show examples
Santa Cruz
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
is
Correct pronoun usage
this is
show examples
 one example. In the same case
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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Tarija in New Year and the other
countries
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 of Bolivia help.
The
Correct article usage
People
show examples
people
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 should be more
emphathy
Correct your spelling
empathy
 with other
people
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 because never know when
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 need the other person for a
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 or emergency.
Other
Change the wording
Another
show examples
 example is Africa, the
people
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 very poor and
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 and
people
Use synonyms
 go or travel to Africa only
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 help the
country
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, carry foot, water and things that
people
Use synonyms
 need, but in
this
Linking Words
country
Use synonyms
 have other
citys
Correct your spelling
cities
 that
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 help
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each other. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 should
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
emphaty
Correct your spelling
empathy
 with other
people
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 and want help. Help communities with food or when need other, in
politic
Replace the word
political
show examples
problems
Use synonyms
 or economical
problems
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ismael.222sr on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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