IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Fossil fuels (coal, oil, natural gas) are the main source in many countries, but in some countries the use of alternative source of energy (wind and solar energy) are encouraged. To what extent do you think it is a positive or negative development?

The shift from fossil
fuels
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 to
alternative
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sources
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 of
energy
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,
such
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 as
wind
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 and solar power, is a significant development in the global
energy
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 landscape.
This
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transition
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 has both positive and negative implications, which I will discuss in
this
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 essay. On the positive side, the use of
alternative
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energy
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sources
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 is crucial for
combatting
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combating
show examples
 climate change. Fossil
fuels
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 are the primary contributors to greenhouse gas emissions, which are responsible for global warming. By investing in
wind
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 and solar
energy
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,
countries
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 can reduce their carbon footprint and promote environmental sustainability.
For instance
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,
countries
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 like Germany and Denmark have made substantial progress in integrating renewable
energy
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 into their power grids, demonstrating that it is possible to reduce reliance on fossil
fuels
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while
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 maintaining economic growth.
Moreover
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,
alternative
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energy
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sources
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 can enhance
energy
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 security. Many
countries
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 depend heavily on imported fossil
fuels
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, making them vulnerable to geopolitical tensions and price fluctuations. By developing domestic renewable
energy
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 resources, nations can achieve greater
energy
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 independence and stability.
For example
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,
countries
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 with abundant sunlight or
wind
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 can harness these resources to meet their
energy
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 needs, reducing their dependence on foreign oil and gas.
However
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, there are
also
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 challenges associated with
this
Linking Words
transition
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. The initial investment in renewable
energy
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 infrastructure can be substantial. Building solar farms or
wind
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 turbines requires significant capital, which may be a barrier for developing
countries
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.
Additionally
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, the technology required for renewable
energy
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 systems is still evolving, and there can be issues related to reliability and storage.
For instance
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, solar
energy
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 production is dependent on sunlight, which can be inconsistent, leading to potential
energy
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 shortages during cloudy days or nighttime.
Furthermore
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, the
transition
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 to
alternative
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energy
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sources
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 can have economic implications for communities reliant on fossil fuel industries. Jobs in coal mining, oil drilling, and natural gas extraction may be at risk as
countries
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 shift their focus to renewables.
This
Linking Words
 can create social and economic challenges, particularly in regions heavily dependent on fossil fuel economies. In conclusion,
while
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 the move towards
alternative
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sources
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 of
energy
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 has undeniable benefits, including environmental sustainability and
energy
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 security, it
also
Linking Words
 presents challenges that must be addressed. To
optimize
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optimise
show examples
this
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transition
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, governments should invest in renewable
energy
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 technologies
while
Linking Words
 providing support for communities affected by these changes.
Overall
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, I believe the shift towards
alternative
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energy
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 is a positive development, as it offers a viable path to a more sustainable and secure
energy
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 future.

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content
Give more direct link to the task by naming the effect and add one or two strong facts or numbers.
language
Use shorter sentences and choose simpler words to fit the top 100 words.
structure
Mention more clear cause and effect to show how one idea leads to the next.
content
Clear view that the shift is a good move.
content
Good use of real world examples (Germany, Denmark).
structure
Solid flow with linking words like 'Moreover' and 'However'.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fossil fuels
  • Renewable energy
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Carbon footprint
  • Climate change
  • Economic benefits
  • Energy security
  • Energy dependency
  • Infrastructure investment
  • Intermittent nature
  • Sustainable development
  • Technological innovation
  • Renewable energy sector
  • Pollution reduction
  • Job creation
  • Energy diversification
  • Global energy market
  • Geopolitical tensions
  • Supply chain disruptions
  • Energy storage systems
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