Some people think that formal education should start for children as early as possible. While other think the it should not start until 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There are different opinions about the significance of formal education for children.
While
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some argue that
school
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should begin at 7
years
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old, others claim that after 7
years
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of age are more significant. On my part, believe that children should go before the usual
time
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because they will be intelligent. To commence with the view on the former group, there are two reasons behind their position. First is that some parents want their children.
Furthermore
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, they should send their kids to
school
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according to
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their interests.
Consequently
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, they should go to
school
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early.
For example
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, my mom when she was 5
years
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old, her mom went to
school
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.
In addition
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, it is, early life is improving in a child's brain, and they create ahead of
time
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their career. Definitely, other arguments exist too, but the ones mentioned, I believe, do stand out. Theming to the latter group's point of view, they
also
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have their own grounds to justify the position they hold. First is all the educational system should start from a specially defined age.
Thus
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, some offspring could lose their immaculate childhood.
For instance
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, they can not spend enough
time
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with their family and friends.The ability of other arguments is undeniable, but mentioning them is not worthy. In conclusion,
although
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the views people regarding offspring should go to
school
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ahead of
time
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. They may get enough knowledge and spiritual training. There are positive effects for kids.
However
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, I believe that at 7
years
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old students are ready for formal studying.

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task achievement
Clarify and elaborate on your ideas and arguments. For instance, expand on why some parents prefer to start education at 7 and provide more details or examples to support your claims.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use linking words and phrases to connect your points more clearly. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and syntax to improve clarity. For example, revise sentences for clarity, such as 'some argue that school should begin at 7 years old' instead of 'the it should not start until 7 years of age.'
task achievement
You have addressed both views and provided your opinion, which shows a good understanding of the task requirements.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Social interactions
  • Formative years
  • Curiosity
  • Structured environments
  • Preschool activities
  • Unstructured play
  • Developmental pace
  • Emotional and social skills
  • Undue stress and pressure
  • Natural development
  • Informal learning methods
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