There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because the computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development ?

#workers #work #home #students #study #computer #technology #development

Because of the reasonable price and easy access to computers, teleworking and telelearning are increasingly favoured by both employees and students. From my point of view,

although

the advance of technological

Correct your spelling

devices

sevices

Correct your spelling

services

has some detrimental effects, it

also

benefits humans in many ways. On the one hand, it cannot be denied that there are some drawbacks of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

computer

technology that should be taken into consideration. Spending too much time in front of

computer

monitors can lead humans to a sedentary lifestyle.

In other words

, people use most of the time a day working or studying with their computers, and

therefore

, neglect outdoor activities including playing sports or going to picnics.

Besides

, eye diseases

such

as refractive errors are likely to occur

Change preposition

show examples

individuals who spend an extended amount of time with computers. A review of 30 studies of problematic internet use

Change preposition

show examples

people working and studying at home in Vietnam reported that 30 per cent of the subjects experienced short-sightedness.

On the other hand

, the huge advantages that

computer

technology brings to humans' lives

caanot

Correct your spelling

can not

cannot

can't

underrestimated

Correct your spelling

underestimated

. Teleworking and telelearning

helps

Change the verb form

help

show examples

businesses and schools reduce office operating costs and other general costs massively

such

as electricity, air-conditioning and other

utilitites

Correct your spelling

utilities

This

will enable them to save an

enromous

Correct your spelling

enormous

amount of expenditure each year.

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

Futhermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, the security of employees

as well as students

Add the comma(s)

, as well as students,

show examples

will be ensured as they do not have to face problems related to commuting like bus or train delays

Correct your spelling

bad weather. In conclusion, I believe that

the

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apply

show examples

computer

technology is beneficial to

Change noun form

people's

show examples

peoples'

Correct your spelling

people's

show examples

lives even though it has some negative effects.

Submitted by truongn298 on Thu Nov 17 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because the computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development ?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this?. Do you agree or disagree

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

The internet is a good source of information and opened up opportunities for people all over the world. Is all information reliable online?What could be done to control information online? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.