There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because the computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development ?

#workers #work #home #students #study #computer #technology #development

Because of the reasonable price and easy access to computers, teleworking and telelearning are increasingly favoured by both employees and students. From my point of view,

although

the advance of technological

Correct your spelling

devices

sevices

Correct your spelling

services

has some detrimental effects, it

also

benefits humans in many ways. On the one hand, it cannot be denied that there are some drawbacks of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

computer

technology that should be taken into consideration. Spending too much time in front of

computer

monitors can lead humans to a sedentary lifestyle.

In other words

, people use most of the time a day working or studying with their computers, and

therefore

, neglect outdoor activities including playing sports or going to picnics.

Besides

, eye diseases

such

as refractive errors are likely to occur

Change preposition

show examples

individuals who spend an extended amount of time with computers. A review of 30 studies of problematic internet use

Change preposition

show examples

people working and studying at home in Vietnam reported that 30 per cent of the subjects experienced short-sightedness.

On the other hand

, the huge advantages that

computer

technology brings to humans' lives

caanot

Correct your spelling

can not

cannot

can't

underrestimated

Correct your spelling

underestimated

. Teleworking and telelearning

helps

Change the verb form

help

show examples

businesses and schools reduce office operating costs and other general costs massively

such

as electricity, air-conditioning and other

utilitites

Correct your spelling

utilities

This

will enable them to save an

enromous

Correct your spelling

enormous

amount of expenditure each year.

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

Futhermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, the security of employees

as well as students

Add the comma(s)

, as well as students,

show examples

will be ensured as they do not have to face problems related to commuting like bus or train delays

Correct your spelling

bad weather. In conclusion, I believe that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

computer

technology is beneficial to

Change noun form

people's

show examples

peoples'

Correct your spelling

people's

show examples

lives even though it has some negative effects.

Submitted by truongn298 on Thu Nov 17 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is believed that children whose families had less financial resources growing up are better at solving obsticles when they are older, compared to those raised by rich parents. This essay will examine both sides of the provided statement, arguing that it is largely truthful.
5.5
band
In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both sides and express your opinion.
It is considered by some that high salaries make benefits for a country whereas other people think that salaries should be controlled and limited by the government. In my opinion, I believe that achieving balance is key and there should be neither excessively regulated nor inadequately monitored salaries.
6
band
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.
It is normal for university students to specialise in one particular subject, but some of them think that they should be able to take a wide range of subjects in addition to their chosen one. This essay will look at both viewpoints, then suggest that, although there are some benefits to be gained from additional subjects, students should probably focus on their majors.
7
band
Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Nowadays advertising is a common part of our life.Many people believe that advertising influence us to buy products while, others argue that advertising is so irritating that people do not concentrate on it.In my opinion,I think advertising has a great impact in our life that is why we still purchase products after watching advertisement.
5.5
band
In some countries, an increasing number of children are overweight or obese as a result of eating too much fast food. Banning fast food from school canteens is the best way to flight this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In today's fast-paced time, many kids suffer from overweight or obesity and unfortunately their number is rising due to consuming a large amount of junk food. Some researchers argued that this type of food should be prevented from schools to solve this problem. In my opinion, I agree that this solution could be effective during a part of the kids' life, but, for sure, there should be other steps followed to terminate this issue and keep the health of the Youngs.

There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because the computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development ?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both sides and express your opinion.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In some countries, an increasing number of children are overweight or obese as a result of eating too much fast food. Banning fast food from school canteens is the best way to flight this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?