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Band 7.5

There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because the computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development ?

#workers #work #home #students #study #computer #technology #development
Because of the reasonable price and easy access to
computer
technology
, teleworking and telelearning are increasingly favoured by both employees and students. From my point of view,
although
 the advance of technological devices has some detrimental effects, it
also
 benefits humans in many ways. On the one hand, it cannot be denied that there are some drawbacks of
computer
technology
 that should be taken into consideration. Spending too much time in front of
computer
 monitors can lead humans to a sedentary lifestyle.
In other words
, people
use
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 most of the time a day working or studying with their computers, and
therefore
, neglect outdoor activities including playing sports or going to picnics.
Besides
, eye diseases
such
 as refractive errors are likely to occur in individuals who spend an extended amount of time with computers. A review of 30 studies of problematic internet use by people working and studying at home in Vietnam reported that 30 per cent of the subjects experienced short-sightedness.
On the other hand
, the huge advantages that
computer
technology
 brings to humans' lives cannot be underestimated. Teleworking and telelearning help businesses and schools reduce office operating costs and other general costs
such
 as electricity, air-conditioning and other utilities.
This
 will enable them to save an enormous amount of expenditure each year.
Furthermore
, the security of employees,
as well as
 students, will be ensured as they do not have to face issues related to communicating like bus or train delays or bad weather. In conclusion, I argue that
computer
technology
 is beneficial to people's lives even though it has some negative effects.
Submitted by truongn298 on

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task response
Provide more specific examples to support your points. Use real-life cases or research findings to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph follows a clear and logical structure. Use topic sentences to introduce main ideas and link them cohesively throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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