IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the reasons? What could be done to solve this problem?

#students #attention #school
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 day and age, there are more and more learning methods, especially face-to-face and online learning, applied to help people approach their essential knowledge.
Although
Linking Words
 conventional
classes
Use synonyms
 are still prevalent, some learners argue that they are
attention-deficit
Correct your spelling
attention deficit
show examples
 when they join these
classes
Use synonyms
 due to the lack of interest and external factors, which can be addressed by creating attractive teaching methods and eliminating
distracted
Replace the word
distracting
show examples
 factors. It is undeniable that
students
Use synonyms
 usually cannot focus and feel bored when they have to learn
classes
Use synonyms
 that are too abstract. Some subjects like Real Analysis or Probability require
students
Use synonyms
 to spend most of
Use synonyms
Add an article
the students'
show examples
students'
Change noun form
students
show examples
 time preparing, understanding
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and extending intangible theorems even though it is incredible.
In addition
Linking Words
, the temptation of electronic devices and friends in
classes
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 an adverse impact on the productivity of
students
Use synonyms
. They are willing to ignore the importance of knowledge, play video games or gossip with friends.
Submitted by hoang.b.lam88 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • concentration
  • attention span
  • distractions
  • technology
  • boredom
  • tiredness
  • engagement
  • learning disabilities
  • teaching techniques
  • classroom size
  • family issues
  • health problems
  • motivational strategies
What to do next:
Look at other essays: