IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think the money spent in developing the technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #technology #space #exploration
Technology is developing in every
country
, even developing
countries
 and non-developing
countries
 acquire the benefits of the technology provided.
Although
,
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 today developed
countries
 are far more advanced than developing
countries
 and they have various
space
 explorations happening, developing
countries
 trying to test
space
 exploration will not benefit the
country
, as a
,
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inresult
Correct your spelling
result
in result
 many
people
 think that
money
 spent on
this
 will not be beneficial to the
country
. In my ,opinion I totally agree with the aforementioned viewpoint and the following essay will elaborate on my answer. Governments in growing
countries
 trying to put up funds for the discovery of
space
 is a waste of resources for the
country
 and
people
. Since they have more factors to concentrate
such
 as developing education and
road
 systems. As an example, nations
such
 as India, and Sri Lanka have a plethora of issues within their
countries
, most
people
 face fuel crises and the roads are not well developed, as a ,result everyday
people
 face
road
 accidents. Most children in rural parts of the
country
 have no access to technological advancements
such
 as online learning. So,
such
countries
 providing
money
 for unnecessary explorations will lead the nations to more crises in the future.
Therefore
, spending
money
 on education and
road
 development will benefit the
country
.
On the other hand
, most of the developing
countries
 think that
space
 investigation will attract more tourists to their
countries
 and they will acquire more funds.
Countries
 that have other issues
such
 as poor infrastructure buildings will drop the tourist rate drastically
although
 they provide funds for
space
,
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 since today visitors are looking for clean and elegant buildings. To conclude, I disagree that developing nations should spend
money
 on technology for
space
 because these
countries
 have other factors to concern and spend
money
 wisely,
such
 as education,
road
 development and infrastructure development in the
country
.
Submitted by wathsala.lekamge1997 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • justified expenditure
  • technological advances
  • earthly concerns
  • telecommunications
  • environmental conservation
  • inspire innovation
  • diplomatic relationships
  • peaceful cooperation
  • long-term survival
  • colonization
  • commercial ventures
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