IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people argue that in the modern world it is necessary to be able to speak at least two foreign languages. Others say that it is better to know one foreign language very well than to have poor command of two foreign languages. What is your opinion?

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Some say that in contemporary society, it is beneficial to be able to speak different
languages
Use synonyms
,
while
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 others argue that it is better to have a well-developed command of
one
Use synonyms
language
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 rather than a poor command of several.
This
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 essay will argue that
although
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 perceiving a universal
language
Use synonyms
 saves time and effort and minimizes frustration, knowing more
languages
Use synonyms
 gives
one
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 more global
opportunities
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 and enhances cognitive development. On the
one
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 hand, mastering
one
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 foreign
language
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 provides a deeper level of fluency, which is often more practical for effective communication.
For example
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, professionals who have an excellent command of a
language
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,
such
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 as Spanish or Mandarin, can communicate clearly and confidently in their respective fields.
In addition
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, being able to speak
one
Use synonyms
language
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 well reduces the frustration that may occur when knowing multiple
languages
Use synonyms
 imperfectly.
On the other hand
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, learning
two
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 foreign
languages
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 in the modern world offers numerous advantages, particularly in terms of global
opportunities
Use synonyms
, cultural understanding, and cognitive development.
For instance
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, individuals fluent in
two
Use synonyms
languages
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 are more competitive in the global market and can build stronger relationships with people from different cultural backgrounds.
Also
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, people who master
two
Use synonyms
languages
Use synonyms
 often have better memory, multitasking abilities, and problem-solving skills. In conclusion,
while
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 mastering
one
Use synonyms
language
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 saves time and effort, learning
two
Use synonyms
languages
Use synonyms
 provides
one
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 with more international
opportunities
Use synonyms
 and cultural understanding. Ultimately, both approaches have their own positive aspects. I believe that mastering different
languages
Use synonyms
 gives
one
Use synonyms
 more global
opportunities
Use synonyms
 and helps to boost cognitive abilities in children
as well as
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 adults.

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task achievement
While your essay clearly responds to the task and presents well-structured arguments, try to elaborate more on specific examples. This could enhance the depth of your response.
coherence cohesion
Although your essay flows well overall, consider varying your linking words or structures to connect ideas at times.
coherence cohesion
You have presented a balanced argument with a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Ideas are clear and comprehensive, making your argument easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a logical structure with clear, supported main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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