The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum

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The health problems that are involved with obese people are putting a heavy strain on the health care system. Many people believe that the most efficient way to counteract

this

Linking Words

issue is to incorporate more

exercise

Use synonyms

in schools. I am in absolute agreement with

this

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statement.

Firstly

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, it is clear that

this

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will help children lose weight more easily. Students would get the opportunity to do

sports

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and

exercise

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more.

For example

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, an average child does

sports

Use synonyms

once or twice a week, which would not help them lose weight very quickly.

However

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, by adding more

sports

Use synonyms

to their school curriculum, they would be able to

exercise

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and lose calories much faster. Another major reason is that doing

sports

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in school at a young age can help pupils maintain that habit in the future. If a student has a liking for

sports

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in school, it is most likely that they will keep that habit for a long amount of time.

For instance

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, if a child does

sports

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a lot ,

then

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he or she would probably keep doing

sports

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in the future.

This

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will result in keeping fit when still a child to becoming an adult.

Although

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putting more

exercise

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in schools can help children keep fit and healthy, there are still numerous different ways to lose weight. Curtailing the amount of fast food or candy consumption is an option. Sometimes, when children

exercise

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a lot, they still end up eating too much junk food. In that situation, reducing the number of unhealthy foods they eat is quite effective. In conclusion, including more

exercise

Use synonyms

in schools is by far the best and most effective way to prevent obesity. In my opinion,

this

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statement is completely true.

Submitted by taduyvuong on Fri Nov 18 2022

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

285 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity rates
health care system
physical education
instill
long term
raise awareness
healthier lifestyle choices
nutritional education
active transport
quality of instruction
facilities and equipment
diet control initiatives
community sports programs

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On one hand, nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. On the other hand, nuclear weapons are a potent threat to world peace. Do the benefits of nuclear technology outweigh the risks? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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