IT IS COMMONLY BELIEVE THAT NOWADAYS MAIN FACTOR THAT AFFECT A CHILD’S DEVELOPMENT ARE MEDIA,POP CULTURE AND FRIENDS.A DIFFERENT POINT OF VIEW IS THAT FAMILY PLAYS THE MOST SIGNIFICANT ROLE.DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION

These days, some people perceive that
children
's development is influenced by peer groups, social
media
and music
while
others think that family have a major influence on young ones' behaviour. In my opinion, I believe that family plays a major role in a child's growth and the subsequent paragraphs of
this
essay will discuss my reasons and both views. On the one hand, the way a child matures can be affected by their
friends
,
media
or pop culture because nowadays youngsters spend quality time on the internet listening to their favourite music or watching videos online which indirectly affects the way they act.
Furthermore
,they
also
have mentors among these celebrities on social
media
whom they imitate . Kids' attitudes are easily influenced by their
friends
and most of them fall victim to peer pressure.
For instance
, a child whose
friends
like wearing fitted clothes or they have a particular haircut that their parents don't usually barb or plait for them will try to convince their mother and father that they want to wear fitted dresses and have their
haircuts
Fix the agreement mistake
haircut
show examples
just like their
friends
.
On the other hand
, I believe that family have the main influence on
children
's development because couples nurture their offspring from the cradle and they are the first agents of socialization. Kids watch their father and mother's behavior and they learn from it. The type of television show that
children
watch
also
can be regulated by their parents. It is
also
the responsibility of guardians and relatives to correct
children
in love when they go out and learn attitudes that are not acceptable to them. I believe that when morals are instilled properly in young ones it will be difficult for them to copy their friend's behavior.
In addition
, couples can
also
ensure that their offspring relate with the right people and grow in a healthy environment thereby leading to positive growth.
For example
, research has shown that the attitude of people is formed from cradle to adolescence and the type of family a kid is raised in has a major influence on their maturity. In conclusion, some individuals think that
friends
, music or the
media
mostly affect youngsters' development because they spend a lot of time on the internet copying their preferred celebrity and they are easily influenced by peer groups. I believe that the family is the primary agent of socialization that instils the right behaviour in kids and corrects them where necessary.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure clearer separation of ideas and avoid sentence fragments to improve readability.
task achievement
Provide more specific and varied examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on maintaining a consistent structure with clear transitions between ideas.
introduction conclusion present
Good introduction and conclusion which clearly state your position.
complete response
Relevant points discussed for both views and your opinion is clear.
logical structure
Logical flow of ideas, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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