Some people think that the best way to broaden young people’s understanding of the world is to encourage them to travel to other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What other measure do you think might be effective?

It is claimed that to broaden
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one’s
horizon
Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
show examples
it is better to take a trip around the
world
and see other countries and exchange cultures between
people
. I totally agree with
this
opinion and will provide my view
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the issue. Travelling makes
people
understand the
world
around them from different points of view.
First
,
people
who travel have
wider
Correct article usage
a wider
show examples
outlook than those who do not as being among those who speak a different language and have a contrasting view to
one’s
own helps to develop critical thinking.
This
way they have
an
Change the article
the
show examples
option to see the
world
around them from a different angle.
Furthermore
, touring provides
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an opportunity to exchange cultures among
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
which
also
has a positive impact since it is a chance to see what is suitable somewhere else which is not appropriate in their place of living. It develops a sense of tolerance,
likewise
. A thirst for knowledge can
also
be a good step towards widening
one’s
outlook. Motivating
people
to learn more by getting familiar with facts about anything
that is
happening in the
world
that surrounds them,
putting
Correct word choice
and putting
show examples
many things in question is
also
beneficial when it comes to self-development. Being curious encourages
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
to seek
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
answers for various life situations and improves thinking skills.
Consequently
, being eager
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
constant search of facts will definitely lead to brain progress. In conclusion, travelling is doubtlessly beneficial for broadening
one’s
outlook as well as permanent knowledge expansion in different spheres of human life.
Submitted by odil_m on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: