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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #earth #activity #place
Although
 it is sometimes thought that the
earth
 is being harmed by human
activities
 other
people
 think that it is a better place to live in which
made
Add a missing verb
is made
show examples
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 human
activities
. In
Correct your spelling
my
any
ny
Correct your spelling
my
 opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
there is no
substitude
Correct your spelling
substitute
 of human activity to make the glove habitable. On the one hand, according to some
people
 the
earth
 is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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unsuitable for human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 due to their
activities
.
To begin
with
Add a comma
,with
show examples
 the most significant reason for holding
this
 view is
that is
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
pollution
. Environment
pollution
 means the overall
pollution
 by polluting air,water,sound and so on. Due to the
polluting
Replace the word
pollution
show examples
 of
Correct article usage
the surroundings
show examples
surroundings
Add a comma
,surroundings
show examples
people
 are being affected by various diseases. These problems are created by
human
Add an article
a human
the human
show examples
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 and
thus
 they are being the victim of
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
This
 is not done willingly rather it occurs as the result of some miss uses while
development
Replace the word
developing
show examples
. For instant
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the emission of harmful gases from factory air is polluted and water
pollution
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
occurs by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
throwing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
waste materials into the water.
On the other hand
, according to other
people
Add a comma
,people
show examples
 the
earth
 is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more suitable to live in
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 human
activities
.
Firstly
 the invention of modern technology has made the life of all
people
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier. The way of living has changed a lot compared to that of the past.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 old age lead their life
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 difficulty
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
because there was no electricity but after the invention of it the life of every individual has become very easier.
Furthermore
, vehicles
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 another gift of modern technology. Through
vehicles
Add a comma
,vehicles
show examples
people
 now can easily travel from one place to another.
Moreover
,
mobile
Add an article
the mobile
show examples
 phone allows us to communicate with other
people
 whether living in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 area of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vast
distant
Replace the word
distance
show examples
. To conclude,
although
 both views are commonly held in our society,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly believe that the
earth
 is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
perfect for living through human
activities
.
Submitted by samsulislam43.si on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • renewable resources
  • carbon footprint
  • conservation
  • ecology
  • emissions
  • fossil fuels
  • greenhouse gases
  • habitat destruction
  • industrialization
  • pollutants
  • recycling
  • urbanization
  • deforestation
  • ecosystem
What to do next:
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