In some countries, people encourage students to find part-time jobs while some people don't. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#countries #people #students #jobs

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During these years it is vital for everyone to provide themselves with accommodation and have enough budget to survive.

However

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students

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don't have access to everything they want and they may be proposed by someone to work in their spare

time

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, in order to develop their financial condition. It has demerits and merits that should be discussed in

this

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essay. As far as I am concerned it has more advantages than disadvantages. One of the major benefits of part-

time

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jobs is gaining experience and proficiency

while

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working young adults face real difficulties in jobs and learn how to solve them. Especially, when

students

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work by their profession will be useful in their future careers or even in any field.

Additionally

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, it is complicated for young adults to earn money for living and housing facilities, in

this

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,case part-

time

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employment will help them to earn pocket money to purchase everyday expenses, become more mature and independent and rent accommodation properly.

For example

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, being an employee in certain companies may assist them with cultivating self-discipline and managing

time

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and money.

Thus

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, there have been mentioned advantages of part-

time

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employment.

On the other hand

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, it can not be denied that

mainly

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apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

university lessons require full concentration and discipline means

while

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working some

students

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may lose their focus and concentration.

Although

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absenteeism affects their grades and university life, there can be some factors which lead to exceptions.

For instance

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, a person who studies in the faculty of tourism can not harm anyone,

while

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future doctors who studies medicine and who has a huge impact on others' life should not be absent because of the job.

Further

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students

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who work and study at the same

time

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are likely to be under stress and pressure.

Hence

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, there have been listed disadvantages of half

time

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job which affects youngsters' life. To recapitulate, having weighed everything I have mentioned above, I would come up with the conclusion that it has both sides and the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each body paragraph discusses a separate aspect of the topic to provide a well-rounded argument. Use transition words and phrases to improve the coherence and flow of ideas.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. Make sure to fully address both sides of the argument and present a balanced view.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

331 words

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In some countries, people encourage students to find part-time jobs while some people don't. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can couse serious social problems ,as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is often argued that it is crucial for individuals to be tidy in their workplace and house, and everything should be organized in these places. I think it is a correct belief, and I advocate this opinion. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall explain my point of view.

Many people feel that most of the urgent problems can only be solved by international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?