In some countries, people encourage students to find part-time jobs while some people don't. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
During these years it is vital for everyone to provide themselves with accommodation and have enough budget to survive.
However
, students
don't have access to everything they want and they may be proposed by someone to work in their spare time
, in order to develop their financial condition. It has demerits and merits that should be discussed in this
essay. As far as I am concerned it has more advantages than disadvantages.
One of the major benefits of part-time
jobs is gaining experience and proficiency while
working young adults face real difficulties in jobs and learn how to solve them. Especially, when students
work by their profession will be useful in their future careers or even in any field. Additionally
, it is complicated for young adults to earn money for living and housing facilities, in this
,case part-time
employment will help them to earn pocket money to purchase everyday expenses, become more mature and independent and rent accommodation properly. For example
, being an employee in certain companies may assist them with cultivating self-discipline and managing time
and money. Thus
, there have been mentioned advantages of part-time
employment.
On the other hand
, it can not be denied that mainly
Rephrase
apply
the
university lessons require full concentration and discipline means Correct article usage
apply
while
working some students
may lose their focus and concentration. Although
absenteeism affects their grades and university life, there can be some factors which lead to exceptions. For instance
, a person who studies in the faculty of tourism can not harm anyone, while
future doctors who studies medicine and who has a huge impact on others' life should not be absent because of the job. Further
, students
who work and study at the same time
are likely to be under stress and pressure. Hence
, there have been listed disadvantages of half time
job which affects youngsters' life.
To recapitulate, having weighed everything I have mentioned above, I would come up with the conclusion that it has both sides and the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.Submitted by inkarerbakytkyzy on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each body paragraph discusses a separate aspect of the topic to provide a well-rounded argument. Use transition words and phrases to improve the coherence and flow of ideas.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. Make sure to fully address both sides of the argument and present a balanced view.