IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

citizen security in the police, if you had been, where and for how long, what would you improve, and an experience you had

This
Linking Words
 paper is about
citizen
Use synonyms
security
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 in Guardia Civil.
First
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 of all, I will explain my experience
at
Change preposition
in
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 the area.
Then
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, I will consider what I improve it and
a
Change the word
my
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 personal experience.
Finally
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, I will summarize the speciality of
citizen
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security
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. On the
first
Linking Words
 hand, I have ever been
at
Change preposition
in
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 public safety since I joined The Guardia Civil in 2021. Currently, I’m posted at
Station
Correct article usage
the Station
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 of Calvia in Mallorca. So, I have been for a half past year at public
security
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. On the
second
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 hand,
citizen
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security
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 has a lot of
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
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 to improve in my opinion.
Such
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 as the
stations
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. Some
stations
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 are old and don’t have the right equipment to do a good job,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 means
put
Wrong verb form
putting
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 the life of
agent
Correct article usage
the agent
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in
Change preposition
at
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 risk. The cars are elder as well and they have many kilometres and are more time in
mechanic
Correct article usage
the mechanic
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 that in the station.
In addition
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,
the
Correct your spelling
they
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 are
stations
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 with few people, which are more time closed than
opened
Replace the word
open
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. About my personal experience, I remember one of my
first
Linking Words
 work days, when we stopped a car and the man who drove was drunk, he had taken marihuana and cocaine and the best of all is that he was driving without
driving
Correct article usage
a driving
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 licence. All in one. In conclusion, the
citizen
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security
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 area in my opinion is the most important area in Guardia Civil and the most abandoned. I would hire more people and buy new equipment for the
stations
Use synonyms
 and for the work
at
Change preposition
on
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street
Add an article
the street
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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