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Band 5.5

In the future, it may be scientifically possible for people to live for 150 years. This could be good for individuals but it may have negative consequences for society. What are the benefits and risks of people living to 150

#future #people #years #individuals #consequences #society #risks
Nowadays, people become older and older. Maybe in the future with the use of modern technology is it even possible to become 150 years old. Of course did can be very interesting for a
singular
Replace the word
single
show examples
 person to become that old. With everyone becoming older that will be having an impact on the world. On the one hand, the positive side to become that old is, you have more
time
 to do the things your like and love.
For example
: you can take more breaks between working and going on vacation. You can save up money and
then
 go travelling. When you come back, you start working again
instead
 of waiting for your retirement. The best one is having more
time
 to spend
time
 with your loved ones. That can be your friends or family. Especially, with your children and grandchildren seeing them growing up. You having more
time
 is more enjoyable in life.
On the other hand
, the negative effect is overpopulation and
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
 of healthcare.
This
 week the population of the world is more
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 8 billion people and that comes with the current problems today. Daily you read in the news there is not enough food and space to live. With the opportunity to become ,older there will be more people on earth and those problems become only bigger and bigger
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because more mouths to feed and no space to live anymore.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 the
cost
 of healthcare is an issue. They become older even with the modern technology the
cost
 is very high. How younger we are and how low-
cost
 healthcare is. In conclusion, while are some benefits to becoming older, there are
also
 significant issues like the
cost
 and space for leaving longer on earth.
Submitted by annemariebloemberg on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • longevity
  • life expectancy
  • scientific advancements
  • experience
  • personal goals
  • loved ones
  • knowledge
  • wisdom
  • contributions
  • advancements
  • fear of death
  • appreciation for life
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