IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Children are facing more pressure nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

#children #pressure #perspectives #pressures #measures
Today, younger and younger ones have more stress on academic, social and commercial ways of looking. In my view, I believe that their
parents
 guide them and
peers
 on how to be socialised are a majority of factors.
This
 essay will provide some examples and solutions to address them.
To begin
 with, there are several problems causing younger learners to have
pressure
 from the education, socialisation and commercial sectors.
First
 of all,
parents
 play a major role in affecting their mindset of being stressed.
For instance
, in some surveys, it was reported that a higher proportion of learners have had anxiety at 50% for a decade. They had to face their parenting of restricted guidance.
This
 results in a lot of students having the highest
pressure
 in their life.
Moreover
, the other issue is bullying from
peers
.
For example
, it is common knowledge that many students are bullied by their classmates at college, who come from different nations and have a variety of cultures.
Therefore
, they used their cultural lifestyle to socialise with
peers
 causing conflict
such
 as bullying.
This
 could make it easier for some scholars to get the highest
pressure
 in the academic era. Even though some problems are serious, there are some solutions that can be taken.
Firstly
, its obvious measure is to educate
parents
 and enhance parenting skills. The educational communities hold some events or talks, which are educating their clients on how to guide their sons or daughters facing
pressure
.
This
 could mitigate a lot of scholars' stress. Another solution is for skilled advisers to support many losers on how to communicate with
peers
, altering a successful person.
This
 will help them to get away from stress. In a nutshell, following the statement above, I believe that through the different events or talks, their
parents
 and classmates could learn much more information than in other ways.
However
, younger ones should be easier to reduce the
pressure
.
Submitted by jimmy.wong.wp on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: