IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some believe that money for education should mainly be spent on better computers while others believe it would be better spent on teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In today's world, parents are facing a dilemma currently. There is much debate over whether money should be spent on better
computers
Use synonyms
 or
teachers
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 for
education
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 .
Although
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 , the latest model
computers
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 assist
to increase
Change preposition
in increasing
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the success rate, ı strongly believe that
teachers
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 are more significant than
other thing
Change the wording
another thing
other things
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such
Linking Words
 as
computers
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 because almost every pupil takes their
teachers
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 as a
role-model
Correct your spelling
role model
show examples
. Some people believe that
computers
Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
are
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worth
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
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 more money on because they think, it helps to increase the success rate.
For example
Linking Words
 , there is a computer lab which is
new
Correct article usage
a new
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 redevelopment in my high
school
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 . In the category of researching and making scientific improvements, my
school
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 outraced the other schools which have not sufficient computer resources.
In addition
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 ,
students
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 can enhance their skills
such
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 as coding. It helps children
in thinking
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
 more comprehensively .
Therefore
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 , the chance of being successful is increasing thanks to better
computers
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 .
However
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 , one of the most famous person ,which is interested in pedagogy , Fatma Kal ı n, says
teachers
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 have the most control over the
students
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' success after their families. Others,
on the other hand
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 , argue that
teachers
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 are more important because
students
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 take them as role
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
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.
Students
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 especially those who are in high
school
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 , are in the development of their character period.
Thus
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 , they try to resemble their
teachers
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 willingly or unwillingly.
For example
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 , when ı was in high
school
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 , ı had a teacher and ı started to act like him
at the end
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 of the
school
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according to
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 my friends' feedback . I agree with
this
Linking Words
 argument since if ı took role-model as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
not an adequate person to look alike, it would be very disadvantageous for my future. In conclusion, some people argue whether
computers
Use synonyms
 or
teachers
Use synonyms
 are more vital for
students
Use synonyms
 '
education
Use synonyms
 life.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 better computer is not important for
teachers
Use synonyms
 in
education
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 because
education
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 is not about academic achievement.
Hence
Linking Words
 , I strongly believe that
teachers
Use synonyms
 are more contributing to the student's
education
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 because
students
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 determine their behaviours
according to
Linking Words
 their
teachers
Use synonyms
 .

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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